Imagine the following scenario: you go on a date with the hot guy and it is going great!
The conversation is smooth, he is funny, smart, and acting like a gentleman.
Then you discover he is a few years younger than you… Yikes! What to do?
Should you continue dating this younger man and ignore the age difference, or stick with somebody your age?
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Well, if the situation above sounds familiar to you, and you aren’t sure what to do, I’m here to help with the top advice for dating a younger man!
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Is It Wrong to Date a Younger Man?
For so long, women had limited options when it came to dating.
They were mostly encouraged to date men their age or even older men, as it is believed that these men understand their struggles, have the same emotional maturity, and can provide for them.
Nowadays, the age difference is not such a deal-breaker! At the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants, and if it means dating younger men, so be it!
There are also many related stories in the world of celebrities.
For example, Jennifer Lopez and her dancer, or Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas, that seems like a match made in heaven!
So, the answer to does age difference matter in a relationship is NO! If you know how to attract a younger man, but mostly how to keep a younger man, there is no reason to date older men, just because it could be more socially acceptable.
Many people will call these women cougars, without really taking into consideration all of the benefits of dating a younger man.
So, if you are loving a younger man, and want to know exactly what you are getting into, continue reading!
In this article, you will find the advice and rules for dating younger men.
Ten Tips for Dating a Younger Man
1. Keep an open mind
Maybe you still didn’t find your perfect younger guy, but there is a little voice that says “I love younger guys”, and you want to explore this possibility.
So, how to seduce a younger man?
Well, it all starts with you!
Firstly, you have to change your mindset. You attract what you are!
If you are still wondering is it ok for a woman to date a younger man, stop wondering. The answer is yes if you are attracted to them.
Change your vibe. Humans have great power over their minds and now you have to use that power.
It is not about the clothes or the way you behave. When you feel completely comfortable with the idea of an older woman dating a younger man and stop worrying about what age gap is too big, you will start attracting younger men and maybe even enter a new relationship.
2. Maturity doesn’t come with age, but with experience
A common misconception is that younger guys are immature…
Well, I’m here to tell you that it is not true. Of course, some of them are, but some older men are immature as well.
That is because maturity doesn’t come with age, rather with life experience.
If a guy has been living on his own since a young age (let’s say from late teens or early twenties), he is probably more mature than a guy that is living with his parents in his late thirties.
There are plenty of older men, in their 40s or even 50s, who act like brats when things aren’t going their way. Some of them even break up over a text.
So dating someone your age doesn’t necessarily mean dating someone who is just as mature.
When meeting someone new, focus on their experience, rather than focusing on the age.
Dating a man 3 years younger is not a red flag.
Red flags are toxic traits, such as somebody being impulsive, not able to control their emotions, or getting into an argument whenever things aren’t going their way.
Check what they have accomplished in life so far, whether they are independent or not, what their goals are. A 40-year-old man is not a good choice if he doesn’t have his life together…
3. You are not his mom 2.0
You are not mom 2.0, and you are not his mom at all!
You can easily deduct what will your role in a relationship be just from his life experience, but it is still good to talk about it a bit, as you can always draw wrong conclusions, and deny yourself the possibility of being in love with a younger man.
A young man that is still living with his parents, may look at you as somebody mature and somebody he can rely on to take care of him.
If he is used to eating home-cooked meals made by his mom every day, he may expect the same from you.
The same goes for laundry or other home chores.
So, it would be best to define your roles at the beginning of the relationship. Suggest dividing house chores, and see his reaction. If he is against it and thinks that you are done who should do all of the work, then sorry to tell you this, but he is not the one.
Such conversation can be quite unpleasant, so there are a few red flags to watch out for:
- He prefers takeout over cooking;
- His place is messy most of the time;
- He is asking for help even if the task is super simple and easy.
4. Also, you are not a teacher
Everybody sometimes needs guidance. You would turn to your best friend or parents for advice if you stumble upon a problem you aren’t sure how to resolve.
Therefore, your younger guy may turn to you for some advice.
He probably has less life experience, so, naturally, he might turn to you for advice, because you went through more different problems and experiences compared to him.
However, women who date younger men often make one mistake here – they offer too much guidance, so the relationship shifts slowly from romantic one to maternal.
If you are dating a younger guy in college, great! But let him figure something out, instead of always offering the solution.
You had to learn from your mistakes, and so should he. One of the biggest dating tips I could give you is to set boundaries at the beginning.
Offer help when you see he is stuck and cannot resolve the problem for some time, but give him the freedom to first find the solution on his own.
5. New adventures and new experiences
One of the answers to “Why women date younger men” is because of the new experiences and adventures this type of relationship brings.
If you feel like you’ve missed out on certain experiences when you were younger, and as an older woman you might feel stuck in a rut, you will probably be more attracted to younger guys than older men, as they seem full of life and exciting.
Women dating guys a few years younger than them say that these men are more open to trying out new things – travels, hobbies, or going out.
A younger guy will probably have a different taste in music, movies, or even art, and his way of spending free time is probably different from yours.
Those differences can open doors to new experiences, things you don’t normally find entertaining.
As long as you are willing to try new things, you can work things out with a younger person.
6. Different interests are okay too
On another note, some differences should be embraced in a long-term relationship.
While you should stay open to trying something you didn’t before, don’t forget who you are and your interests!
For instance, if knitting relaxes you, continue doing it!
Your much younger man can tease you about your hobbies, but you can do the same for his.
I’m guessing your younger guy has an activity that makes him happy, but you don’t enjoy it as much, and he is still doing it, just not with you.
Also, alone time in a relationship is just as important, as time spent together.
Spending 24/7 together is not so healthy.
Both of you have individual friends groups and relationships that need just as much care and nurturing as the one you share with him.
If you have scheduled dancing classes with your girlfriends every Friday, don’t start canceling those lessons, just because you found a guy.
He can use the time you spent with your group of friends, to hang out with his boys.
Keep some things separate, while still finding the time for certain activities you both enjoy doing.
7. Be clear on what you want
Younger women typically don’t have the problem of voicing their needs, wants, and desires in the relationship.
However, when it comes to relationships with younger men, women tend to be not so vocal. They are often too consumed in what to do as an older woman to keep a younger man, that they forget about their own needs, and what should the guy do to keep them around.
So, before you enter the relationship, define your goals – are you interested only in having an affair with a younger man, casual relationship (like BeNaughty or Ashley Madison), or are you looking for something long-term (like eHarmony or Tinder)?
Are you hoping to get married and have kids one day, maybe even soon?
These goals don’t necessarily have to be defined with the partner on the first date, but you should have a clear idea of what you are looking for and need before starting any type of relationship.
8. Confidence is the key!
Young guys sometimes find young women unconfident.
To them, confidence is something that comes with experience, and as older women are more experienced, they admire them for their self-esteem and life accomplishments.
These women aren’t afraid to say what they think, feel, and because of their life experience, they feel good in their skin. For guys, even older men, this is one of the biggest turn-ons.
Furthermore, don’t be afraid to talk about your achievements, because a younger guy will be amazed by them.
He is probably at the beginning of his career path, while you have already a well-established role in your work. and to him, this achievement is super sexy.
Also, he will probably love to hear about your past travels – hiking, skiing, or other trips, on which he still didn’t have a chance to go on.
While older guys will view you as competition, the younger ones will feel inspired and motivated to achieve the same!
9. Learn to text
In an older woman/younger man relationship, there is more texting, as younger generations prefer this way of communicating.
So, instead of trying to FaceTime him, and getting frustrated when he doesn’t answer or declines your call, try to adapt.
He will probably respond to a text sooner and be more in the mood to talk if it is via text than on FaceTime or calls.
Learn about apps he prefers using such as WhatsApp and Viber. Also, explore Instagram DMs, and Facebook Messenger.
Of course, if this way of communicating is important to you, explain that to him.
Compromise can be made easily – he probably won’t mind spending a few minutes every night to FaceTime you, as long as during the day you communicate via text.
10. Learn to not care about the opinion of other people
Some may call you cougar, while the others won’t put any labels, but still won’t understand how do you maintain a relationship with a younger man.
You can expect many questions from family members, both yours and his, about what you have in common.
Your friends may even make jokes that you don’t find even slightly funny.
If they are genuinely interested, answer their questions, but learn to ignore snarky remarks.
Also, in this case, the internet is not your friend. Even though there are many older woman/younger man relationships in the world of celebrities, comments on Internet are often brutal.
Nowadays, people feel free to comment on anything, even though they don’t know someone and it is not their business at all.
Be confident in the life you are sharing with your younger guy and enjoy the attention you are getting from him. In this way, you will make the relationship stronger!
Advantages of Dating a Younger Guy
1. Great sex life
Men are encouraged more to explore their sexuality, so often their sex drive is higher compared to women.
Also, they sexually peak in their twenties, while for women it comes later – typically between 30 and 40 years.
As he is still full of energy, you can expect a lot of great sex!
Your sex life will become dynamic, and a younger person will be more willing to explore all of your wildest fantasies.
2. Less baggage
You always bring something from past relationships into new ones. For example, if your last partner cheated on you, you will be more cautious or controlling with the next one.
Since the younger guy didn’t have the chance to explore relationships as much as you did, he will enter the one with you with less baggage and more openly.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that he won’t have certain reservations, as some problems in relationships aren’t caused strictly by baggage from past relationships, but the baggage from problems with their parents for instance.
Remember to communicate when you stumble upon a problem and understand your partner’s point of view, instead of pushing your own.
3. Amazing dates
You won’t be going only on romantic dinner dates.
The younger guy is on a different energy level, and for him, the date might look different from what you are usually used to.
Dinner and movie are great, but he will probably want to spice things up a bit.
You can expect a 10-mile hiking date, more concerts, and clubs, that will bring out your adventurous and vivid side.
Disadvantages of Dating a Younger Guy
1. Different view on commitment
Once the relationship starts to develop, it will be necessary to firstly talk about commitment.
Women that have divorced recently, may not be interested in forming another serious relationship.
For some time, they may want to keep things casual but stumble upon a bachelor that cannot wait to tie the knot.
Vice versa is possible too – you may be excited about the possibility of getting married, while he feels unprepared to take that step.
Discuss commitment, and what it means to you and him. If the definitions don’t align, then he is not the one! Don’t worry, there is still plenty of fish in the sea!
2. Different goals in life
Because of differences in life goals, many often wonder “Should women date younger men?”, so this is another talk you will need to have with your partner.
What is important to him: family, kids, or career? Also, what is important to you?
Older women sometimes don’t have a desire to start a family, as they feel like they don’t have enough energy for kids.
On the other hand, your younger partner has a different energy level and is super excited about having a large family soon.
Maybe, career is quite important to him. He wants to put in more work hours, to get his career going, while you have already established your position in the company and want to slow down.
Well, if this is the case, your young partner won’t be too excited about traveling, as those travels are preventing him from advancing in his work.
Just like with commitment, life goals should be the same!
According to relationship experts, the problem that many couples with large age differences face is financial imbalance.
The difference in his and your paycheck could be significantly different, as he has just recently started working.
This could make him feel emasculated, intimidated by you, which could cause additional problems.
As you can see, dating someone younger has many pros and cons, and hopefully, relationship tips from this article will help you navigate your relationship.
If you still aren’t sure how to handle a younger man as an older woman, I would advise you to check out the FAQ below.