How to Be a Cougar in 2024 – All There Is to Know

When I was a little girl, I remember how they used to call my aunt Michelle a cougar.

I never understood what it quite was, but judging by the way they’d say it, it suggested something kinda bad.

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Now that I’m in my aunt Michelle’s age, I’d say rock on!

I won’t tell you what a cougar is, cause I’m sure you all know all about it.

What I will tell you, though, is how to be a cougar no matter how untalented for it you think you are.

Here you will learn all about:

How old are the women we call cougars
How to be a cougar
Are there male cougars
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Basics First

If you ask me, dating a younger guy is such a turn-on.

I’m not saying he has to be a teenager, but simply younger than you. Still, the age difference of just a year or two doesn’t qualify you as a cougar.

Hell, even 5 won’t do. Let’s say the 8 years age gap is just right.

Now, I’m afraid that our (highly hypocritical) society has some reservations about cougars, but somehow it is completely OK for men to choose younger partners.

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To this, I will just say – ladies, if you want to date and f*kc younger people, just go ahead.

They don’t pay your bills, so they have no right to comment on your private and sex life.

I know the term cougar may not be the proper word choice, but I can see some logic behind it – it’s like we’re wild animals (cougars, more precisely) on the prowl, and our prey is mature young guys.

Now, the next logical question is…

How Old Do You Have to Be to Be a Cougar?

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Ok, we know what the age difference between the cougar lady and her young pray should be.

But, for a lady to be dubbed as a cougar (a woman who likes dating younger men), what is the right age?

For example, when I was 26 I dated briefly a 19-year-old (male), but I was far from cougar then. That was merely experimenting.

Now, that I’m 36, I can perfectly say I’m a puma since I still prefer to date men younger than myself. (Which reminds me, my 19-year-old is now 29. Hmm…)

Anyways, I’m not saying dating older men is bad, it has its advantages, but I like them fit and strong.

Ready all the time!

So, let me say it loud and clear – to be considered a cougar, a woman has to be 35 and older.

Accordingly, if you are a single woman over 35 dating a 26-year-old, congratulations, you are a cougar.

How to be a Successful Cougar?

Seeing how I explained the basics behind the terms and cougar idea, let me tell you how to actually be successful in this undertaking.

Saying that you like and want to date young men won’t cut it.

There are some steps and rules to pay attention to, so pay attention!

1. It’s About the Looks

There is one thing people got all wrong about the cougar women.

Namely, they perceive our darling pumas as insecure mature women that are struggling to look like 20 year-olds.

If you are striving to be a successful cougar, you need to be as natural as possible.

Hair and make-up as if you are in your twenties?

No, my darling!

That reeks of insecurity.

And, that’s something your age won’t compensate for.

Show the lines around and in between your eyes. Wear them proudly.

Let your physical looks say you have the life experience you are willing to share with someone younger than yourself.

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There’s nothing sexier than that.

I’ve seen men fall for women way older just because of this.

There is no pretense, fake smiles, fake emotions.

More precisely, these are the actual tips I have for you.

  • Make your outfit/clothes match your age. You can’t dress like a teenager all the time. It’s cool if you can pull it off, but not everybody can. The experience shows that sports elegance does wonders cause it says you are serious when you need to be but you don’t disregard your casual streak. The same rule goes for shoes. Mix and match. Wear high heels on appropriate occasions, but wear sneakers too.
  • Mind the make-up. No matter what we think, girls with too strong a make-up are hype for a short while, but then we all turn to the other side. I’m not saying you should go Virgin Mary natural, but try not to overdo it. Make-up is fine as long as it’s not the only thing one can notice about you.
  • And, the Hairstyle? Typically, the first thing that comes to your mind is to do highlights. Yes, you can. But, I am crazy about the silver-grey right now, so why the heck not? Of course, you check with your stylist what works best with your tan (colour-wise) and for the shape of your face. For example, I can pull off fringe even though I have a long oval face. But, some of you will not have the boldness (craziness), so this is where your stylist jumps in.
  • Stay fit. Seriously, include training in your daily routine. I’m not saying you should kill yourself with work out. However, take at least 10 minutes every day for some stretching, yoga, or whatever you prefer. Besides helping you get impeccable body shape, it will do wonders for your confidence levels.

Even with these, the most important trait in a real cougar is that she is comfortable with what she is and what she wears.

Sometimes, despite the fact that you do all of the steps above, it’s all pointless if you don’t like it or feel comfortable in it.

What I want to say is there’s no point wearing tight dresses and high heels if you’re more comfortable in sweatpants.

As proof, know that I met my latest catch (9 years younger) on a stairway in my friend’s building. I was wearing my favorite baggy jeans, oversized T-shirt carelessly tucked in, military-like boots, and wavy, intense to dark red hair.

It was the first time we saw each other and later that day, I got a text from him that said “Hey, you left me breathless today”.

Obviously, it’s not just physical looks. It’s also the…

2. Attitude

That is the aforementioned confidence.

Without the right attitude, there’s no successful cougar.

Your very appearance has to clearly say your target age group is men younger than yourself.

So, regardless of whether you are looking for merely a cougar hook up or the real cougar love, the men need to see it right away.

Still, your attitude is more than this.

3. Show Off Your Experience

You must be aware by now that there are men who aren’t quite so thrilled to date younger women.

Typically, the reason is that they don’t like the quantity of attention that younger women crave and the insecurity that they display.

This is why such men are perfect for you ladies looking for the right cougar match whether for casual cougar sex (like BeNaughty or Ashley Madison) or long-term relationships (like eHarmony or Tinder).

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Here, the most important thing is that the young men you want to date will want to be aware of your life experience.

They don’t need scared and insecure girls of their own age and they prefer slightly older women especially because they are the perfect opposite.

You know what you want and you know how to get it.

That will drive them crazy.

4. Be Independent

If there is one thing I need to specifically draw your attention to regarding the cougar dating tips, then it’s this one.

First of all, this is the twenty-first century. It’s normal that you’re making your own money and paying your own bills.

I won’t say paying your own stuff, cause that’s not the point here. I refuse to equalize you with old sugar babes cause it ain’t the same.

Your goal is to find a young male for fun/relationship and nothing more than that.

Nobody’s paying nobody.

However, it’s not just financial independence. It is also emotional.

Namely, your prerogative should not be to find a younger partner every time you go out.

You need to be as equally comfortable on your own as when you’re with somebody.

Once you achieve this level of confidence and independence, you will have trouble fending young men off.

You’ll feel like you’re in a sitcom.

Seriously, live your life to the fullest. Have your passions, have your hobbies, go out with friends. Don’t put cougar dating as a priority.

It’ll come to you.

5. Say What you Want

And, girl, say it loud.

Even though I might come under the young cougar’s group, I noticed that men my age/older, rather than younger ones, are (more) afraid than of outspoken women.

Maybe it’s boldness, maybe they’re crazy (the younger ones). Whichever the case, we the cougars can only benefit from it.

And, by saying WHAT you want, yes, I men in sex.

So, say it out loud – what and how you want it.

Your confidence is mostly displayed here.

Sex with a cougar is what every boy dreams about (something similar to MILF category). And, when you tell him exactly how you want him and where you want him, your pleasure will be his only task.

Trust me, whether it’s young or old cougar sex, they all want it.

And, most of all, they can.

As many times as you like.

Moreover, their ego isn’t easily hurt and they are eager to learn. You just need to be clear on what you want and he’s gonna give it to you.

6. Be at Peace with Yourself

That is, with what you are.

But, I believe you already are.

What Hollywood serves us is that cougar dating is all so funny and sexy.

I mean, just remember how praised Demi Moore was for her relationship with Ashton Kutcher.

Or, look at Madonna now or Cameron Diaz.

I mean, it’s cool when it’s them.

But for the real people out there, it’s a bit different.

Often you will face judgment and people telling you what is right (of course, dating men your age).

However, the true cougars seeking young men will take no heed of this.

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When you find a man who wants to hook up with cougars, I say go for it and tell those “caring souls” to shove it!

You know what you are and what you like and that is so empowering!

7. Emotional Baggage – NO-NO!


There ain’t no successful cougar pining and whining about her ex(es) all the time.


Shrug this off no matter how hard it is.

If they were good, they would not be exes!

Nothing spoils the air of confidence like mentioning my ex this my ex that.

So, yeah, No!

8. Be Your First Choice!

Ok, you know how women tend to put on too much emotional weight upon ourselves?

We cater to the needs of our parents, our spouses and kids (if any), our friends, and in the process, we forget about ourselves.

If you want to hit the cougar town and hit it successfully, whether through online dating and dating sites at first and then in real life, this gotta change.

Just imagine being in the middle of cougar sexting and you say something like “sorry, my mum needs me”.

Such a turn-off!

Besides telling the other person there’s someone more important than them, you are also saying you don’t even care about your own joy and pleasure enough.

Change that.

You come first and then whoever you want!

There’s nothing wrong with it and you should NEVER feel guilty about it!

I believe that now you have a clearer picture of what it takes to date younger men.

So, hit the cougar town, find yourself a younger man. Steer clear of those still in high school.

That ain’t legal, girl 😀

Now, in addition to giving you basics on how to be a cougar in the first place, let’s briefly discuss these too.

How to Be a Classy Cougar?

When people try to answer the question of what is a cougar woman, rarely do they think of “class”.

That is classy behavior.

Typically, people think of drunk women in their forties drooling over the first twenty year- old they meet.

And, that is so far from the truth.

Yes, our game is strong, we are not afraid to approach our next prey.

But, far from it is that we can’t behave ourselves.

A typical cougar is well-dressed, well-mannered, a true lady.

A lady who can hold her drink and pay for it herself and also knows her boundaries.

You’ll find such refined ladies in every pricey bar in New York, let’s say, patiently waiting for the right man for the night.

We know everything about how to seduce a younger man, so we are aware that retching uncontrollably and jumping on the first young d*ck you see is not being a cougar, but being plain desperate.

So, draw your own conclusions from here on how to be a classy cougar.

Practically, just know what you’re doing and you’re good.

How to Be a Hot Cougar?

By the way, is there a non-hot cougar?

I don’t think so.

If I were to define cougar all over again, I’d say it’s a hot woman in her late thirties and forties, hell even fifties, who prefers to date men younger than herself.

I mean, every time a woman turns forty a cougar is born (sorry, I couldn’t resist sharing one of the funny cougar quotes I read recently).

So, yeah, something like Sandra Bullock, or all the famous ladies I already mentioned.

Or, the “first” cougar Lady Mrs. Robinson (a role model for us).

Now, if you really need a definition of a hot cougar, I’d just say – be yourself.

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There’s nothing hotter than a woman who knows who and what she is and is not afraid to show it.

Of course, you might think I’d say you have to be physically fit, wear tight clothes, high heels, etc.

This is partially true because a truly hot, pretty cougar is the one who feels comfortable in her own skin.

So, there you go!


For men.

Here’s the thing.

As a man in your twenties, you had to think about how to get a cougar or how to hook up with a cougar once or twice.

Well, just stay open to it when SHE approaches you.

Seriously, this will be the most typical case.

Or, whenever you see a woman alone in a bar or restaurant acting like the queen of this world, try to approach her.

You might be surprised.

In addition, I know you can’t but ask yourself how to tell if a cougar is into you.

They say women dating isn’t easy, it’s like you need to read our minds, etc.

But, things can’t be simpler.

If we like you, we’ll tell you.

There’s no better sign than this.


As I am approaching the end of this little guide, let me just answer a few of the frequent questions I know you all have and frequently consult wikiHow about.


Final Word

Ok, ladies, now you know how to be successful pumas and cougars.

So, grab that young candy and live your life to the fullest.

The bottom line is, if it feels right, then it’s right no matter what other say.


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