How to Tell if an Older Woman Is Flirting With You in 2024

Imagine this dating scene. You are at a bar, enjoying yourself when a pretty elderly lady catches your attention.

She casts a glance at you and her lips spread into a mild smile. Are those clear signs of female attraction, you are wondering?

Or is your imagination deceiving you? Many might be skeptical whether to make the first move or not.

In some cases, it is extremely easy to tell if an older woman is flirting with you, for instance, if signs are clear, direct, and repeated. In other cases, however, you might just as well confuse flirting with being nice and polite. 

Continue reading to learn:

TIP: Don’t make her age an issue, but don’t pretend it is not there either. Be careful with guessing her age and making related comments.

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Why Are Older Women Interesting to Be With?

Older women, also called cougars, are more interesting to hang out with than young women because they have a lot of life experience and you can learn a lot about your own life, women, physical and emotional needs of women and improve your sex life.

Of course, every individual is unique, but as a dating coach, I’d break older women into two categories: 

-Women who are looking for a toyboy, but apart from sexual and physical attraction, they will spoil you with gifts as some of them want to take care of you (like BeNaughty or Ashley Madison).

-Women who are looking for something more meaningful than a plain sexual relationship, but they want it with a younger man rather than with an older man (like eHarmony or Tinder).

Another great thing about flirting with older women is that they are usually very good at it and enjoy it immensely. They will usually be more upfront with what they like and dislike. 

Older women are also special because they know what they want from the world, life, and in bed, so you are going to learn a lot from them. They don’t mind the age difference and neither should you. 

Besides, they aren’t as unpredictable as younger women and they don’t judge the book by its cover, so they care about intelligence as well.

12 Clear Signs of Flirting

Flirting is not only an art of seduction and showing interest. Flirting is feeling good about yourself, connecting with other people, letting them know how confident you feel about yourself, brightening your and someone else’s day and being able to keep a conversation after saying “Hello”.  

When it comes to flirting, women give out a lot of bold and subtle signs to show they are interested. Here is a list of them.

Fun Fact: Body language is the most lyrical, revealing and significant form of communication. Our body releases thousands of subtle and subconscious signals as we speak and they can result in success or failure in our career, social life, and love and sex life. 

1. Eye contact

With women, the talking is in the eyes. If she’s interested, she’ll maintain long and intense eye contact and ogle you from head to toe. 

2. Physical contact

This is one of the most powerful female signs of flirting. Any physical contact is a good sign and if she likes you, she will find many occasions to touch you, even if it is just fixing your tie or “accidentally” brushing up against you. The more she touches you, the better for you.

3. Smile

A smile can be a hard one to interpret since some women will smile to be friendly, polite, or to look less shy, nervous, or awkward. But if they smile continually, it is a sign of flirting. 

Many women will show interest by laughing at your jokes. Listen to the laugh and if it is genuine, they aren’t being polite. A genuine smile is very easy to interpret, as it is hard to get rid of and not plastered. 

4. Touching her body

Look for the cues when she isn’t talking. Women tend to draw attention to their body while flirting, such as brushing, twisting their hair, and moving it aside, leaving the neck exposed, as well as touching their neck and lips while talking to you. These movements are meant to draw your eye to those body parts. 

Touching the hair itself might not be an indicator of flirting, but rather an unconscious habit that means they are curious, nervous, or open to your advances. 

5. Biting her lips

If an older woman is interested in you, she will keep her lips separated, occasionally licking them, biting them, or putting her knuckles or fingers on them. 

6. Looking for the sideways glance

She’ll observe you when she doesn’t think you notice. Keep an eye for that glance.

7. Feet talk

If a woman is interested, she will focus her body and energy on you, as a signal she’s open and interested. Look at the feet to see the position they’re pointing. 

Are they pointed away from you or toward you? The latter is a good flirtation signal, according to dating experts. Rather, if she is not interested, she will face out and away from you. 

8. Leaning into you

If a woman is leaning her body in your direction, over the table or similar, changing the position occasionally, she is most likely interested.

On the contrary, if she’s seated back comfortably in her chair without moving much, or, God forbid, crossed her arms, the chances are that she is far from interested. 

9. Whispering in your ear

This is a strong sign and a clear indicator that a cute older woman is into you. The voice will be silent and soft, usually followed by a breath or even a very subtle kiss.

10. Giving compliments

Some women are tight-fisted with giving compliments, whereas others are quite open and direct in expressing them. Pay attention to what things on you she’s complimenting, whether that’s just to show interest and be nice, or flirt. 

11. Small talk matters

Another way you can tell a woman flirts with you straight up is If she asks about you, your life, your phone number, and more personal questions. In that case, she’s moving from the friend zone to flirting, especially if she turns towards relationships and sex.  

12. Teasing

This is a tricky part to get. If she’s into you, she’ll be playful in her facial expressions, body language, intonation, and language. However, if she’s not, she might tease as a defense mechanism. Experience will tell you.

These are all the signs of how to tell if an older woman is interested in you. However, there is one big question.

Is She Flirting or Just Friendly?

While some women send clear, bold signals of flirting, others don’t even realize they are flirting as this behavior is sort of woven into their human being and personality.

This type of subtle flirting is called playful flirting (University of Kansas) if a woman is of a smiling and flirtatious nature. Similarly, polite flirting is another type of flirting which is, in fact, being nice, and too subtle for a young man to even pay attention or respond. Both can give you a headache trying to see if an elderly lady is into you, but too shy to show it, or just being polite.

Be aware of the signals a woman sends out when she is expressing interest. On their own, these signs might not seem very important. If a woman does just one of those things, it doesn’t mean she’s flirting. 

But if you pay closer attention and notice a few of these things, then you know she’s interested. You need to get two or three clear and repeated signals before you can interpret them as a green light. 

Here are some sure signs that she’s NOT into you:

• only brief eye contact
• looking quickly away
• keeping the same body posture
• turning her body away from you
• normal or dull eyes
• closed lips
• speaking without interest
• not sharing things with you
• brief responses
• looking at someone else lustily

How to Flirt With an Older Woman

First of all, let’s see what older women want so you know how to be more successful in your flirting endeavor.

Women want security, to know you are always there for them.

They want sparks and butterflies in their stomach when they see you and electricity when you approach and touch them.

They don’t want drama and a rocky relationship, but they want you to be their rock and stability. 

They want to be treated as equals, with respect for their ideas and thoughts. 

They want to see that you are passionate about things, not just about her, but your work, family, hobbies, and goals. Women find this very sexy. 

Most importantly, show off the different sides to your intelligence. Some women like it when a man can fix up something in their home. Others like it when a man writes poetry and reads to them. Ask good questions about the topics women talk about. Don’t use cheap, cliche sentences in an attempt to appear clever.

Show confidence, self-esteem and appear in control of your emotions and your ability to communicate. Don’t look desperate to connect or force things.

Think on your feet and show creativity. Take her to the theater and kiss her on the lips or neck. Don’t just watch the play, but make a move and take the flirtation game to the next level. Open her door when entering the car. Use these small but meaningful tricks to seduce her. 

Be relaxed, genuine, appropriate, honest, a bit mysterious, and comfortable to hang out with. 

Give her a real compliment, don’t just state the obvious.

Don’t force relationship topics. Don’t make cheesy comments or pickup lines. 

And never touch a woman until you are certain it is acceptable and proper. 

Where Can You Meet Attractive Older Women?

The most obvious places are clubs, bars, cafes, coffee shops, karaoke, art classes, nightclubs, restaurants, bookstores, but you can also meet older women online (beyondages.com), and spice up your dating life in that way. 

In case it is your first time dating online, here are 3 tips for dating a pretty older lady online: 

1. Move the conversation forward, without dwelling too much.

2. Don’t overwhelm her with messages and calls. Let her miss you.

3. Use sexual humor sparingly and wisely.

Doubtlessly, there are many signs an older woman likes you and if you pay careful attention to them, you will be able to interpret them correctly as flirting and not being polite and friendly. 

What are signs of flirting and how do I tell if an older married woman is flirting with me? In a nutshell, long and intense eye contact, finding every opportunity to touch you, a genuine smile, leaning into you, watching you when you are not paying attention, and above all if she shows interest in you and your life. 

Respond to these signs appropriately if you like her. Show intelligence, confidence, use humor to your advantage, show that you are passionate about things, and give her due attention. 

However, make sure you get a lot of these repeated clues before you actually conclude that she is interested in you.

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