In this article, I’ll be showing you the things to talk about with a girl even if you are an introvert.
Essentially, you’ll understand:
I’ll be sharing from my years of experience wooing girls.
Come along right now!
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Oh, man, seriously, what to talk about with a girl?
It’s not easy, I tell ya.
One could easily say that there are so many things to talk about with a girl, but somehow, once you find yourself in the situation, you’re just dumb.
Well, I might have overreacted here, but, basically, once you get to it, you’re just lost for words.
Don’t worry, because I’ve been there and I ruined many opportunities while chatting with a girl by saying stuff I definitely shouldn’t have.
Anyway, bear with me till the end of this writing to discover all the fun things to talk about with a girl and the things girls like to talk about in general.
Let’s get crazy!
Just a sec, though!
Actually, I changed my mind.
Don’t worry, we’ll get crazy in a jiffy; I just want to give you some hints first.
Talking to a girl is nothing scary. You just need to have in mind some basic rules.
Hmm, and where could you find these?
Well, here, dummy! You’ll find everything here.
Oh, look how cute they are!
This could be you and your crush if you follow these tips concerned with how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
Here they come!
- Be natural. Pretending to be someone or something you’re not is quickly seen through. Such behaviour merely conveys the lack of self-confidence and fear of rejection, among other things. No girl wants to go into further discussion with someone who clearly has issues with articulating themselves. Which leads us to,
- Be confident. Girls like boys who know what they’re doing. They don’t like you to hesitate and think things through way too long. Show her you know what you’re talking about (all topics considered), and she’ll appreciate you more for it! However,
- Don’t be a smartass! Nobody likes these. It’s the I told you so kind of people. They are a serious pain in the ass. Even when you know you are absolutely right about something, don’t be so smug about it. Girls don’t like to be told what and how they should do things and they especially don’t like Mr Know-it-alls. This will get you nowhere. Instead, look for a piece of advice from her occasionally. This will get you places.
- Be considerate. Don’t push it if she’s not up for something. Don’t force a topic on her if she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it. Also, don’t get mad if she doesn’t reply the very same minute. She has a life independent of you, my boy. You’re just a commodity that comes along the way.
- Listen! Seriously, listen to what she has to say and be involved in the conversation. Proper communication is the key to success. However, note that when a girl is complaining about something, she usually doesn’t require a piece of advice, she just wants you to listen, understand, and potentially provide comfort. The most important thing is to show understanding of her woes.
- Be helpful. Be there for her. If she has a problem, if her stove ain’t working, if her vacuum cleaner broke, offer your help. She will not think that you see her as incompetent, but instead, she will be glad you understand the toil and trouble behind.
- Investigate! In a healthy way, though! Run through social media, check the things she likes. Take note of her posts. This will tell you a lot since there you will find multiple potential topics to discuss with her.
- Mind the spelling! Dude, I sometimes really think that girls have some inborn diabolical device that detects each and every of our spelling, punctuation, or grammatical mistakes in writing. Sometimes it even seems like they’re hell-bent to make our poor male lives miserable just for the hell of it. So, when texting a girl you like, put on your best writing mode.
I told ya – it’s a piece of cake!
Finally, we’ve come to the good part.
This is where I tell you what kind of conversations to have with a girl. Since topics are many, and time is wanting, I will only focus to the most interesting ones, the ones that will help you reach the goal – a date plus everything else that goes with it.
1. Things to start a conversation with a girl
This might easily be the toughest category. Sometimes it’s really hard to come up with an ice breaker that will seal the deal and pave the way for future correspondence.
This is the time when you need to make the right impression. You need to be funny, you need to be sharp and witty, you need to be engaging above all.
Otherwise, this undertaking of yours is doomed to failure. You will be seen as a pest that needs to be exterminated, and she will cut you out before you know it.
So, here are some of the examples of the good topics you can use to initiate your chatting.
1. Have you seen the latest episode of [insert show here]? It’s hilarious!
In this case, you will have to rely on your screening skills and figure out in advance what she likes. Make your line relevant. You can’t afford to miss at the very start.
This will get her involved in a deeper conversation and you can gradually transfer the conversation to other topics.
2. A random joke
Maybe something with her name in it?
Or, just go with some nonsensical crap you find. Still, make it smart and funny. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Also, a healthy dose of sarcasm is always more than welcome (Chandler Bing style)!
3. An out-of-the-blue question
Hey, it’s Friday night and I am bored out of my mind. Any quality books to recommend?
You can make this one about anything, as long as it’s with taste.
This will tell her that you cherish her opinion and see her as a person of good taste.
4. Funny sex lines
I know it’s still a little bit of a taboo, but, why the hell not?
You’re not texting a nun!
Still, don’t go with something nasty. Try with something romantic-ish, but not too sleazy.
Hm, yeah, good luck with that!
5. Who’s the worst guest you had any why?
This is definitely not a typical conversation starter, but it’s an interesting one. The bad guests are a common practice and experience and there is always someone you hate coming over.
Asking a girl something like this could be interpreted as you currently having someone nagging at your place and you’d rather be with this girl.
Know that this does not necessarily have to be true. You can use it as a trick to indicate that she means to you and you’d prefer her company above some other people’s.
Topics to Keep The Convo Going
Now that you’ve made this lovely first impression, you must be wondering on how not to screw it all up.
How to keep the spark going?
How to chat with a girl and keep being interesting to her? I know you are thinking that if you charm her at the very beginning, your business there is done.
You’re nowhere near the finish line with just the initial charming.
So, here is what you can talk about on regular basis with a girl you like.
1. Have you ever… questions
- Have you ever tried skydiving? Have you ever done something just to make others happy even though it made you miserable?
- Have you ever done something just to spite others and what?
- Have you ever been so drunk that you couldn’t remember your home address?
These can go on and on.
The answers to such questions tell you a lot about a person and their general tendencies so you can easily know who you are dealing with.
2. What is your favourite/least favourite…
Ohh, this is always a good trick to use in a conversation.
The span of these questions can go from personal, to sports, arts, you name it.
- What is your favourite TV show, book, sportsperson, time of the day or year, person, restaurant, movie scene, line/quote from literature, pet peeve?
- What is your least favourite singer, film, food, video game (yes, girls like them too! This girlfriend of mine used to kill me in Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit!), book/film/TV show character?
With these, you can never miss. Each of these simply pushes the conversation forward and there will always be another related question to ask, another quote to share, YouTube link of a song to sing along to.
And, all of these, my friend, all of these just bring the girl and you closer.
3. Direct Questions
- Do you like cooking?
- Do you have any siblings?
- How fast can you eat a whole pizza?
- Is swimming better than running?
- What’s your ideal job?
- What would be your ideal day/vacation?
- What’s your perfect pastime activity?
- Have you noticed how the older we get, the earlier it gets late? J
The direct questions approach is the perfect way to find out everything you need to know about a person.
Don’t be afraid that you will come out as too inquisitive; no, this will mean that you genuinely care about this person and you want to know about them all there is to know.
4. The Weird Questions
- What’s the stupidest thing you did while still at school/college?
- What if aliens existed?
- What is the biggest prank you pulled on someone?
- What is the most useless piece of information or fact that you gathered along the way?
- What pisses you off the most with your parents?
- What’s the most inappropriate or annoying question you’ve been asked (please, don’t say it’s this one L)?
Pro Tip: When you ask the questions from this category, I strongly recommend that you share the feedback first. For example, tell her a prank you pulled on your brother last April Fools’ Day.
Or, tell her how annoyed you get because your parents only call to ask for a favour and assume you have a bunch load of free time that is solely at their disposal, regardless of the fact that you haven’t been living with them for more than three years.
This group of questions comes in rather handy to break the routine and to also leave your comfort zones, even for a short while.
These will reveal the kind of imagination and intellect the person from the other side has. Seriously, only people without imagination would respond with “I don’t really know” to our question relating to the existence of our little green friends.
5. The Big Questions
Ok, let me be perfectly clear here.
Under these big questions, I am referring to neither of the following.
Do you want to have sex later today?
Will you marry me?
How many people have you slept with?
These are not the questions to ask while still texting and figuring out what you want.
Hell, the last one is NEVER appropriate to ask. Have this in mind at all times. Her sexual life before you is none of your business. Neither should she be concerned with yours.
Unless you have an ongoing STD
No, what I meant under the big questions is things that are personal in a way and go deeper than the What’s your favourite type of questions.
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Let’s take a look at these.
- How old were you when you had your first crush/kiss?
- What was the most difficult decision you ever had to make?
- Are there any things you regret doing?
- If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?
- What does your perfect family look like?
- What does your perfect date look like?
- Can you name at least three people, except your family members, who have been with you through thick and thin?
- What are your greatest high school/college memories?
Note that for most of these you need to bide your time. You can’t ask these just like that.
You need to feel the moment and make a good judgement call. Otherwise, your good-intentioned question will be completely misinterpreted.
Sense the tone of the conversation and stay on course.
6. The Genuine Concern Questions
Asking these questions requires shrewdness and good intel-gathering skills.
Once you see the questions, you’ll understand why.
- How was your day?
- Does your head still hurt?
- Did you finish the errands you mentioned yesterday?
- Is your [insert friend or family member here] still feeling sick?
- Did you buy that car (or any other item) you told me about?
- Is Karen from work still being the annoying bitch?
- Have you had enough sleep? And, what is enough these days?
- Have you had any breakfast yet? (or, lunch and dinner)
- Is everything OK?
- Can I help you with anything?
Sometimes, the situation will present itself that you will see these questions as the only natural thing to ask.
For some of these, you will have to find the cues in her writing. If she’s typically talkative, and then suddenly gets quiet, it’s time to ask questions 9 or 10.
This is why your observing skills need to be sharp.
And, don’t worry, she won’t miss this cue.
Some other questions above such as 3, 6, and 8 rely on the details discovered during previous conversation session and now you’re just asking for a follow-up.
Questions such as these will show her that you care, that you are committed to her and want to make yourself useful.
Boys and girls work in a different way. When she has a Karen the bitch in the office who makes her life miserable, every girl will need someone to vent to.
Your asking about Karen will be her cue to blow off the steam.
Basically, each of these questions says “I’m listening to and understanding what you tell me and I am there for you”.
This is the kind of attention that every girl falls for.
Pro Tip: Don’t be pushy with these questions. If she won’t say what the matter is, let her be. She’ll tell you when she’s ready.
In the worst-case scenario, she might even phase you out since you are suffocating her. Girls don’t like boys who are too much “there for her”. She likes to fight her own battles.
7. The Either-Or Questions
These are the inviting to have fun questions.
- Coffee or tea?
- Train or bus?
- Beach and sun or mountain and snow?
- Car or bike?
- Friday afternoon or whole day Saturday?
- Netflix or Hulu?
- Friends, How I Met Your Mother, or The Big Bang Theory?
- Game of Thrones or the LOTR?
- Tinder or Match?
- Ice cream or lemonade?
These can go on and on and on and on.
Just think of the relevant things to ask. You can even draw from the conversation you had so far and see where it takes you.
Things to not Talk about with Women
Or, the free tips section.
I know this should be a text about the good things to talk about with a girl.
However, there are things you definitely should not talk about with women and I feel morally bound to tell you about the most critical ones.
Out of a variety of topics to talk about with a girl, some should be ditched at all cost, ‘cause they will make you look different in her eyes.
To further explain my serious understatement above, let’s take these examples into a brief consideration.
Why on earth would you talk to her about make-up?!
Unless you’re using it yourself and need advice on what kind of moisturizer best suits your skin. (Why the heck do I even know the word moisturizer?!?)
And, if you’re using, then I’m not sure if any girl would want to talk to you about anything else. Not to mention the fact that you’ve successfully turned into her latest BFF.
Congrats, no dipping for you any time soon, my boy L
Seriously, you’d better say you know nothing about this even when you do. Should you make the mistake of saying something, find your way out by saying you know this stuff because your sister is harassing you all the time about it.
Never, never say you picked it up from an ex!
2. The Let’s talk about ex
Hmm, let’s not!
Not on chat, not live, not anywhere, and under no circumstances.
The talk about your ex suggests you’re still not over her. So, why would a new girl bother with you when you’re thinking about someone else?
Besides, mentioning your ex while chatting with someone new will just make this new person insecure about your feelings towards them.
Stay on the safe side and never talk about your ex. Neither good nor bad.
Out of all the stuff to talk about with a girl, why would you choose to talk about fashion?
Come on, tell me, I would really love to know?
Unless you want to tell her how hilarious this is?
Ok, we’ve established – no fashion talk unless you want to become her BFF.
Now, my man, I know how complicated it can be to talk to girls at times.
You need to pay attention to a variety of things and always think two steps ahead.
Like it or not, they are faster and sharper than us, so we need to be prepared for a serious battle of wits.
Anyhow, this would be my rather modest list of the interesting things to talk about with a girl.
You can choose some of these and see where it takes you.
Let us know in the comments which one(s) worked best for you and also share some new intel that can work for our brethren out there.