Hey all and welcome to my article on how to pick a first date conversation!
So you have finally gathered up the courage to ask your new found online love interest to go on on a first date (or accepted an invitation to one).
You are super excited and can’t wait for the big date. As D-day approaches, it finally hits you “what will you talk about on your date”?
You see as nerve-racking as a first date can be, having to endure small talk is significantly worse.
When you think that it couldn’t get any worse than small talk, think again because when an awkward silence creeps in you either start talking about the weather or implement your best escape strategies.
The thought of the first meeting conversation is even more nerve-racking for people who are not naturally born with the gift of gab.
If you’re shaking your head in agreement saying that we have just described you, then you needn’t worry as we have put together a list of excellent first meet up conversation topics that will keep the conversation flowing.
The goal is to keep the evening from reaching the “how’s the weather” talk and ease the pressure that you feel when you have no clue on what to talk about with that special someone that you met on eHarmoy, Match.com or any other online dating site.
Let us jump right into our first date conversation article! Some other articles you might find helpful are online dating profile tips, more online dating tips for women and online dating tips for men!
Important reads on our home page (Free of Charge!):
- The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for men
- The Ultimate Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide
- The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for Women
Breaking the Ice
Whereas the first date is an opportunity to break the ice and find out if you both share values that will help lay the foundation for a long lasting relationship, never forget to make the conversation take a shape of its own so it can be as natural as possible and you can feel free with each other.
Great First Date Conversation Topics
Talk Travel – One of the best first date topics that you can have is about travel.
Ask your date about places that they have traveled to or places that they would love to go to someday.
Who knows if the date goes well perhaps you could both take a trip to that special place that they have always wanted to go to (assuming that you would like to go there as well).
Additionally asking about past and intended travel plans is an excellent way of learning about their cultural background, interests and their sense of adventure.
Usually, people will have this type of information in their online profile so be sure to read what they have mentioned or take a look at their pictures to get and keep the conversation flowing.
Food and Drinks – Another excellent conversation topic is asking your date about the types of foods and drinks they prefer.
Now be aware that this topic is best suited for dates that take place in a restaurant. This topic does two main things for you:
- Gives you a clear idea of your date’s culinary preferences and tells you if you share the same food taste and
- Is an excellent lead-in for other related topics
Free Time – Conversations about what your date does in their free time is a must have if you want to learn more about your date and to find out how much of a bond the both of you could have.
You never know, asking your date what they do during their free time could reveal that they love sports as much as you do or that they too have an extensive collection of stamps.
If they already stated what they do in their free time on their online profile, then you might wish to ask questions about their free time activities instead of asking about what they do especially for an introvert.
Let’s Play Tennis, with our Conversation – Yes we know that being silent throughout the date as well, annoying; however, talking about yourself the entire time is just as bad.
So whenever your date throws a question your way, by all means, share your opinions and then direct the conversation to them so that they too can share their ideas.
Click here to learn all about how to communicate online with a new date.
Movies – Okay so talking about your favorite movie(s) can either work for you or against you, either way, it will give you an insight into your date’s preferences.
However, be prepared for some differences in opinions and be equally prepared to not dwell on these differences.
As great as it is to know what to talk about on a first date, you should also know the conversations to avoid as well.
Some conversations will cause your date to feel awkward, embarrassed, self-conscious and well unwilling to entertain a second date.
First Date topics to Avoid
Past Relationships – For crying out loud, please do not ask your date about any past intimate relationships that they have as this is undoubtedly not date-worthy conversation.
This type of conversation is made even worse if you or your date is still hung up on a past love. The first date is never a good time to have this type of conversation so don’t do it at all.
Politics – So you think that Obamacare is the best thing that could ever happen to Americans and that is completely fine; however, your date might not feel the same way.
People are compassionate when it comes to Politics and tend to get offended when the person that they are speaking to does not share the same views.
Although some people might say that talking about controversial topics on the first date can be a good thing and stimulate conversation, play it safe and avoid the politics.
Besides the last thing that you need is a bitter discussion about the Affordable Care Act.
Chances are your potential date already spoke about those things in their eHarmony, Match.com (or another online dating site) online dating profile.
Sex – Talking about sex on the first date is just distasteful and an overall bad idea. Don’t do it. Even if you know one or two things about flirting, avoid sex-talk.
Talking about Family – Okay so this one can either be a bad idea or a good idea depending on how the topic is brought up.
If you ask about cute sisters/hot brothers, then this is going to be a no-no. Additionally asking about their parents can also backfire especially if they do not have a good relationship with them or if their parents went through a nasty divorce/break up when they were younger.
If they have a terrible relationship with their family members, then this topic is undoubtedly not going to resonate well with them at all.
You can attempt this topic but try to quickly gauge their reactions and try not to dwell on it if you see where they seem uncomfortable with the subject.
Your Job – Okay so some people absolutely love their jobs, and there are others who hate their jobs and only work because they need a paycheck to survive.
If your date hates their job, then this is going to go down a path that you do not wish to go. Likewise, if they love their jobs, then they could spend hours talking about how important their position is or the minute details of their everyday work day.
Either of which can get real old real fast. Also, avoid spending too much time talking about your job as well as you could risk making your date feel bad if he/she doesn’t like their jobs as much as you do or doesn’t hold a prominent position as you.
Making the First Date Conversation Flow
A great way to keep the conversation flowing, exciting, vibrant and entertaining is asking questions.
Now depending on your personalities, these questions can be practical and thought-provoking or downright comical and ridiculous.
Don’t be afraid to break out some questions that are so bad they are good lol. Here are a few quirky questions that you can ask to lighten up your date, make them smile and ease any possible uneasiness.
- What was the coolest thing for you when you were nine years old?
- If you could pick an animal (besides humans) to rule the world what would it be?
- If your best friend told you that aliens kidnapped them last night, would you believe them?
These questions are quirky enough to get a laugh and yet surprisingly good enough to start a conversation.
As much as we suggest asking some quirky questions, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask some of the regular go-to first date questions. Here are some examples:
- Are you a cat or a dog person?
- What do you like to do after work?
- Do you prefer to wear casual or formal clothing?
- What childhood memory brings a smile to your face each time you think about it?
- What’s your favorite food/drink?
Just make sure that these questions were not already addressed via their online dating profile.
Wow, so it seems as if we overloaded your brain with a lot of information about first date conversations and you’re probably thinking that first date conversations are hard work.
Well for some people it is super easy, and for others, it is the most challenging thing possible.
However, first date conversations can become simple for everyone with a bit of practice, try not to practice so much that you seem like a robot on the date if you are just getting back to the dating scene.
Here are some sweet first date conversation tips that will help you to nail the first date and leave a great lasting impression on your online love interest through your words.
First Date Talking Tips
Smile – Smiling is the universal way to make someone feel relaxed and a great way to reduce any awkwardness that your date may be feeling.
Your date will feel more relaxed once they see you smiling.
Be Positive – It is important that you remain positive throughout your first date.
While on your date talk about the things that you like about the place where you are, the food that you are eating (if you’re at dinner) or how happy you are that you can spend time with your date.
Speaking positive words shows that you are an optimistic person and believe it or not optimism is quite attractive.
Find that Common Ground – A great tip to kick the first date off on a good start is to try to find something that you can both agree on (like or dislike) within the first fifteen minutes.
Finding the common ground will make things a lot smoother and serves to ease any first date nervousness.
Respectful Disagreements – Okay so let’s be real here, you are not both going to agree on everything, we get that, we understand that, and we know that it simply isn’t practical or realistic for two people to accept all the time.
However, if/when a disagreement arises, don’t try to forcefully prove a point or push your views down your date’s throat.
Instead, express yourself in a lighthearted manner, feel free to add a bit of laughter where appropriate, and tactfully steer the conversation to a different topic.
Manners – Make sure that you are respectful to your date and that you are courteous and kind to them throughout your date.
Even when asking for her number, try to be courteous.
We are humans, and we will certainly make mistakes, a few slip-ups here are there are tolerable; however, instead of turning it into an awkward moment of silence, try shrugging off the accident with a bit of laughter.
Who knows, that silly accident could make for a great first date memory.
Bonus First Date Conversation Tips
Since there are so many things that can go wrong during your first date interaction, it is important that you have your bases covered to increase the chances of having the very best conversation possible.
Here are some bonus tips about things that you should avoid doing while having that all important initial conversation.
Avoid TMI (Too Much Information) – Your first date should not be the place where you are venting about anything be it your life, past or job.
Don’t go too much into anything at all because, yes, there is such a thing as too much information on the first date.
Besides revealing too much too fast can undoubtedly kill any interest that your date may have felt towards you.
Don’t Over Compliment your Date – While compliments are nice, too much complimenting can send the wrong message.
Additionally please do not put yourself down while complimenting your date as that only shows your date that you think very little of yourself.
Don’t Brush off a Compliment – If you are complimented on a date, take it gracefully.
Don’t tell them about how you long you had to diet or workout to fit into your clothes. Gracefully accept the compliment by saying thank you.
Take your time, Go Slow – Getting to know your date is a process and not something that should be rushed.
Take things slow, one step at a time. What do we mean? Instead of starting off with the hard-hitting, in-depth conversational topics, go easy and start off with something on a lighter note.
If the date goes well, then there will be plenty of time to dive deeper and learn more about your date.
You’ll be shocked at how girls see the red flags in a guy’s move if he goes too fast.
Don’t Be Clingy – We all know about the clingy girlfriend (or boyfriend) syndrome; however, some people can get real clingy on a first date as well.
How might you ask? By touching the other person a bit too much and making second date plans while you are still on the first date.
Remember that no one likes clingy so please relax and enjoy the moment.
Remember that your first date can be the beginning of something special, make use of these conversation skills so that you can tip the scales in your favor by making your date feel relaxed, engaged and appreciated.
A great conversation can set the tone for a beautiful relationship or friendship. Enjoy the moment. Some other related articles are first dates do’s and don’ts for men and women. And the best first date ideas!
If you’re interested in dating websites, I suggest you check out my article on the best dating websites and some popular comparisons of online dating sites such as eHarmony vs Match, Chemistry vs eHarmony, eHarmony vs OkCupid and Match vs PoF!
Here are some articles that will interest you:
- The Comprehensive Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide
- The Awesome Guide on How to Create an Online Dating Profile for Men/Women
All these are completely free and you should try reading them up soon!