Chapter 3 – Asking For His Number


Okay, so your communication is heading in quite a positive direction. You find each other’s humor pleasant, you have even started flirting with each other.

The next thing that logically comes to your mind is, has the moment to come to ask him for a number or to invite him on a date?

Millions of questions run through your head, and you certainly don’t want to spoil the moment or even worse, end up in some trouble.

There are two major opinions on this. One sticks with the “no digits before dates” rule, while the others believe it’s much safer to give the number prior to meeting the guy in person.

From men’s point of view, things are much simpler, because unlike women, they cannot end up in some unpleasant situations.

In addition to this, they are usually the ones asking for the number first.

But times have changed, and it’s more than acceptable if a lady is the one making such a step first.

However, we already mentioned that women’s greatest advantage is intuition, which can be of great help when making up your mind whether to give the phone number or not.

There are always some signals that can be followed and which can hint the moment to exchange numbers has come.

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How to be sure if the moment’s right?

Though this falls to those “no one can be sure about it” things, still, here are the most common tell-tale signs that are considered positive signs to swap numbers:

1.    You enjoy communicating with each other

I mean, you really, really enjoy each other’s humor, and you sense there’s a dose of deepness in your conversation.

When you have the feeling that you understand and respect each other that sounds like a good moment to ask him for a number or leave yours.

2.    You already mentioned IRL (in real life) date

You two have agreed that it would be a good idea to ask each other out, meet on a date. This seems like a convenient moment to exchange numbers.

It is a much simpler and faster way to get in touch in case some of you is running late or cannot spot each other.

3.    You respond to each other too slow

Yeah, this may sound a bit confusing, but the truth is many people tend to forget to open an app or dating site.

It’s not that the chemistry is gone, or something like that, but simply doesn’t ring a bell if either of you is too busy. Sometimes people are simply too lazy to open those and check messages.

That’s where phone number makes things faster a bit.

4.    He asked for your number

Guys are definitely less stressed out when it comes to swapping numbers, and they certainly do that more often and faster than ladies do.

Provided that you two both believe that the convo is heading towards some next level, it’s quite okay to give your numbers to each other.

Extra tip: Ambushing the guy with your own number and waiting for the reaction is also a nice strategy, provided that you are really ready to give your numbers.

 Just text it after a few chatting lines and wait for his reaction.

Small precaution measures

As for the problems we mentioned, researches show that many women really have a variety of problems after giving the number to a guy who turns out to be a weirdo.

Men tend to scare ladies off with diversity of things such as sending an unsolicited pic of his intimate body parts or sharing some raw fantasies with them.

If rejected, they even start to harass or revenge, call 100 times and stalk that woman, just because they are angry.

For that reason, ladies can take certain measures that would minimize unpleasant situations like this and feel much more confident when exchanging the numbers.

1.    Pay attention to your own profile

First of all, the best way to avoid any potential misunderstandings is to be realistic on your profile. Look and sound presentable and above all be yourself.

If you put a hot pic in bikini and leave a status that hides a lot between the lines, then you can expect guys are asking for your number and so.

So, make sure you look sweet and nice, but not unnecessarily provocative.

2.    Pay attention to his profile

Then, when you find a match, and you like him, make sure you check every single detail on his profile.

So many details can tell you a lot if you examine them carefully.

You can even Google him if you want to double-check.

That way you will be sure and more relaxed when the moment to swap numbers arrives.

Alternatives to the phone number

As you can see, it’s really hard to tell the exact moment when to give each other moment, but one thing for sure, don’t do that too fast!

Don’t feel the pressure that you should ask him for a number if he asked you as well.

Don’t be afraid to tell him that you think it’s too early for that or that you don’t feel comfortable doing so if you want to slow down a bit.

If he really cares about you, he will understand how you feel and will respect your decision.

On the other hand, don’t wait too long, just because you cannot make up your mind. You must respect his time, as well.

However, the good news is that there are always some compromises which can be a transition period before exchanging the numbers.

1.    Social networks

Apart from dating apps and websites, you may feel ready to accept him as a friend on Facebook or some other social network.

People check these a bit more often than dating platforms. It’s a step closer to asking him for a number or deciding to give yours.

2.    Burners

A burner number is also an excellent option if you are not ready to give your real number yet. There are apps which can provide you with this optional number.

It can be used for calls and texting, and picture messaging as well, just like the actual one, but you are still in a safer zone.

Chapter 3 - Asking For His Number 4
Chapter 3 - Asking For His Number 5
Chapter 3 - Asking For His Number 6

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