There’s a rush of excitement and your feelings are in your throat. You saw that spark ignite between you and your date. But here comes the age-old question: Who should text first after the first date?
The short answer is you.
Before you chuck the rule book of dating relationships at my head, hear me out. We live in a digital age of online dating where equality rules.
Your gender doesn’t matter. The gender of your date doesn’t matter. It’s a whole new game out there.
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| "Serious Relationships" | "Discreet Hookups" | "Best Course for Men" |
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| "Quick Flings" | "Normal Hookups" | "Our Quiz" |
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You don’t have to wait for your date to contact you after a great date. You can take the plunge, and it’s not a faux pas. The days of, “Should you text a guy after the first date?” are over.
Your Date is Nervous Too
More than likely, your date from the previous night had a great time too. Like you, they could be toying with the idea of texting after the first date.
And like you, they’re nervous. They’re not sure if they need to make the first move or wait or when to invite you out on another date.
Make it easier on both of you and hit that “Send” button first. That way neither one of you will be sitting in limbo about what the other person wants.
You’ve done your part. It’s now their turn.
You’re Too Old for Games
Quit asking yourself, “Should I text him after the first date?” That’s just a game, and dating relationships shouldn’t be games.
Games at the beginning of a connection will only lead to more games down the road. This isn’t high school anymore. You’re allowed to be direct with your intentions, and you’re allowed to text a guy after having a great time.
It’s important to let them know that you want to delve further into the connection. You can see your dating relationship progressing.
This doesn’t mean you should overshare. If you’re a hopeless romantic and see marriage, then I wouldn’t throw that heavy information at them too early.
When you open up to your date, they’re going to open up to you—no games and total transparency.
Just be careful not to send that first text too quickly.
It Prevents Overthinking
When you find yourself reading this article, you’ve already started overthinking. It starts as worrying after a first date who should contact who first.
But that’s only the beginning of the dating anxiety train. Then you start second guessing the great date you had. You second guess the signs you saw and the emotions you experienced.
Dating relationships are already nerve-wracking. You don’t need that added stress. Overthinking always turns into a horrible spiral.
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| "Serious Relationships" | "Discreet Hookups" | "Best Course for Men" |
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| "Quick Flings" | "Normal Hookups" | "Our Quiz" |
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Then you’re stuck on your couch, stuffing your face full of ice cream, and binge watching the same old shows—catastrophizing something that hasn’t started yet.
Texting in the early stages of dating doesn’t have to be so hard.
Rejection Allows You to Move On
The reason you’re worried about who should text first after a date is due to rejection. When they don’t text right away after a first date, you assume the worst.
Rejection is horrifying. It hurts to the core if someone you’re attracted to doesn’t have the same feelings as you.
When you text, you take away rejection’s power. If your date does reject you or ghost you, you can move on to someone new.
If you don’t get rejected, you’ll be happy you leaped to send that first text. However, you won’t know until you send that text or DM.
Confidence is Attractive
When you text your date first, you’re showing confidence. You know what you want so you do what you need to do. You had fun on your date, so you text the person to let them know you’re interested.
You’re exuding confidence.
Most people find confidence attractive. We find confident people comforting. They accept themselves, including every imperfection. It allows us to explore accepting ourselves.
All that confidence and acceptance shows your date that you don’t need to rely on anyone. You’re not overeager and clingy.
Avoid over-confidence. An attitude like that comes off as arrogant and overbearing. Be confident but be honest.
Dating doesn’t have to be scary and overwhelming. It’s supposed to be exciting and fresh. There will be a little heartbreak on the way but it’s worth it when you find love.
