11 Tips on How to Build Sexual Tension – Do It The Right Way!

11 Tips on How to Build Sexual Tension

Hi guys and gals, welcome to our article on how to build sexual tension.

In this ultimate guide, we’re going to show you:

how to increase sexual tension
flirty techniques to build up sexual tension
how to provoke sexual chemistry
ways to use body language to build sexual tension

Without much ado, let’s begin!

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Introduction to building sexual tension

Being romantically and/or sexually involved is not so easy, so as a consequence we need to reach out to any form of self-help (no pun intended).

As concerns romantic relationships, pieces of advice you will come across are various, and what suits you best depends firstly on your preferences and personality and then on the person you want to seduce.

Having said that, we cannot but add how besides the romance there is another important factor to consider if you want to have a satisfying relationship.

Here, it is implied that you already have mutual understanding and respect for each other, so this article is obviously about something else.

And, just like Salt ‘n’ Pepa, used to sing…Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me…

So, let’s talk (i.e. write) about how to build sexual tension.

The Importance of Making love

“Making love is merely a social preliminary, the way a handshake used to be; it’s the first step in getting to know someone. Once it’s out of the way, you can concentrate on the real things; though without it, somehow you can’t.” Nicely said, Margaret Atwood, nicely said.

Although this is the 21st century, sex is still very often a taboo that we need to dispense with as humankind.

From practicing free love to monogamy and one partner throughout your life, there have been various forms of sex per se.

Well, unless you’re in a long-term relationship, having sex, especially on the first date, is still not acceptable in many.

And, we are not judging, any of these has its advantages, and whichever you choose – it’s OK, it doesn’t make you any the less of a sexual being.

Making love is a physical and emotional necessity with the continuation of species as the outcome.

Besides the aforementioned, being sexually active brings multiple benefits both in terms of your physical and mental health.

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So no need to be overly self-conscious or to tip-toe around the topic.

Additionally, if the sex you’re having with someone is not just an occasional sport for the two of you, then it can also bring the two of you closer, according to relationship experts.

We will not go into detailed benefits since that is not the topic here, but you already know what we are talking about, right?

Sexual Tension – What is It?

The term tension is generally defined as a sort of anxiety or fear.

But, when you add the sexual part to the equations, the situation changes significantly.

Namely, sexual tension is a social phenomenon occurring when two individuals interact with each other and one or both feel sexual desire; however, the consummation is either postponed or never happens.

Moreover, sexual tension has nothing to do with the sexual act itself nor physical contact, but instead everything that leads up to it.

To put it in laymen’s terms, these are all the sparks you feel when you’re next to someone, and all the little games you play before taking it to the next level and rolling between the sheets.

It is more in the anticipation of the act than in the act itself.

Sounds interesting, right?

Ladies, you know this feeling when he walks into the room, glances at you, and you feel shaky?

How he leans towards you so that you can almost feel his breath on your neck and you wish to take him then and there?

Boys, you know how She twirls her hair when she is around you?

Or, her hand brushes lightly up against yours and you want to kiss her so badly?

Including those late-night sexy texts or horny sexting that fly to and fro.

Yup, this is what we are talking about – sexual messages and all the likes.

All of the above are signs of sexual tension and are usually a big turn-on.

A typical real-life, everyday example of sexual tension is between two people working together, or even friends, who feel a mutual attraction.

This can start with simple eye contact the first time and subtly followed by flirtatious gestures over time.

However, they choose not to engage in sexual intercourse because it might affect the workplace atmosphere.

Next, sexual tension can also occur between former lovers who are still drawn to each other but decide to postpone or avoid the sexual contact completely since they might be involved with someone else.

Or they just remember why they broke off with the person in the first place.

Sexual tension is also present when the couple has just started dating and waiting for the right moment to finally do the act.

Now that we have established what sexual tension is, let us see what it is that you need to do to create it.

How to Build Sexual Tension

Sometimes the act of sex is not nearly as entertaining as the steps that lead to it.

Dirty text messages, oral sex, foreplay, and the likes are all used in building tension between two people whether or not they’re in a formal relationship.

Whether you’re only at the beginning of your sexual relationship or you already know your partner’s sexual likes and dislikes, these little tricks can truly light a spark and end in an explosion of feelings.

So, seriously, how to build sexual tension?

Ways to do this are a-plenty.

We will provide you with a list of some of the possible ways, and you can choose any (or a few) that suits you best.

Let’s go!

1. Start teasing from the early dawn

Although a quickie in the morning can be an excellent wake-up exercise, try refraining yourself from doing that.

Being mostly in the rush each morning, sometimes you do not have sufficient time for proper lovemaking.

This is why you should skip it altogether and while still in bed, give your partner just a gentle kiss or a touch.

Here’s a bit of free dating advice for you on how to build sexual tension in a relationship to spice up your love life.

We suggest you can fondle a little bit too, but postpone the act for a later time.

This is how sexual tension only begins to build.

2. Don’t be afraid to sext

Totally uncalled for, send a text to your SO brimming with (you know what kind of) descriptions.

We are all visual beings, so the more detailed the description, the more vivid the image in our heads.

Or, stay merely suggestive and say something like “Can’t wait until tonight!” Or, “I have this fantasy I would like us to turn into reality”.

It will make your partner all the more excited about what’s coming.

Additionally, those bold and daring among us can also say straightforwardly the things you want your partner to do to you or the things you want to do to them.

3. Talk dirty to me!

Since we are long past the point of being shy, let’s move to straightforward sexy talk face to face.

There should be no shortage of dirty texts to send to your partner in the morning if you guys live apart from each other or are in a long-distance relationship.

But when you’re together, whisper something in their ear, your breath against their ear and neck, and then leave as if nothing happened.

That will light such a spark, that your partner will barely keep it together.

Beware that you don’t use any form of innuendo-like expression when trying to talk dirty.

4. Tease them, always tease them with your body

This suggestion mostly works well for women, since somehow men tend to lack sophistication in the act.

But still, if they know how to do it, then the result can be a minor explosion.

So, ladies, use your lips to tease your guy.

Your hot lips and breath on their neck and over the collarbone – it will drive them crazy!

On the other hand, boys, should you reach the inner thigh of your woman, hot breath kisses it and walk away – she will barely be able to resist until the very act.

5. Make out and touch in abundance

Similar to the previous point, you need to do this often, not only for sexual benefit.

This will bring you and your partner closer, and will also build tension.

The escalation that results from this type of tension build-up can result in the release of chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin.

The touching we are referring to here does not necessarily need to be of sexual nature.

Even regular hugs can go a long way.

6. Send photos/videos

This is another instance where ladies can use it more often.

Apart from nasty text messaging, this is also a great way (if not better) to get your man sexually tensed and ready.

Men are visual beings so a photo or video will be more appreciated than sext (though sexts are great too).

So, ladies, you can surprise your significant other with a sexy photo or video.

If plain nudes are way too much for you, try putting on that new black lacy lingerie and take a photo of you wearing it.

Additionally, you can tease them by making a short video of you in the lingerie gently caressing your body (sound on or off – they won’t care).

Send it to your lover and wait for the reaction – you will not regret it!

WARNING: Do this only if you completely trust the person you are sending this to!

7. Send them love notes

By love notes, we do not mean notes like “Love you, sweetheart, see you tonight”.


Handwrite or text a sexy riddle – make them anticipate what will happen later on.

Since no matter what the riddle or phone sex text is, they will know the award, making their libido only stronger.

And, boy oh boy, how they are going to be eager to use it!

8. Wait!

It is a well-known fact that the longer you wait for something, the more pleasing it is once you get it.

So, apply the same rule to having sex.

Try to go without as long as you can resist the desire since once you finally get to it, it will be only the more rewarding.

All the sensations and feelings will be enhanced so you will enjoy it more than usual.

9. Get touchy

We have established that being physical is rather important for a couple.

It creates a bond between you and brings you closer.

However, teasing your partner physically is highly effective in building sexual tension.

Bite their lip while kissing or their neck even (but don’t leave marks, that’s for teenagers!).

These generally do not lead to sex but whisper something like “We’ll continue” while you do this.

It’ll just make them anticipate for your next move.

Or, they might surprise you before you know it.

10. Be unpredictable

Having sex the same way as always isn’t fun.

So, have different kinds of sex.

Take things outside – why not?

There is an array of places where you can do it.

Or, even better postpone the act and tease away.

Gently caress their thighs while at a restaurant, lean towards them often, and whisper things you’d do to them in their ear.

On the other hand, you can even experiment at home – try it on the balcony, in the kitchen, on the floor.

Possibilities are many, and it’s up to your imagination to spice things up.

This is how your lover will keep wondering where you’ll do it next – and what will build tension better than that?

 11. Don’t ever stop flirting and provoking!

Flirting with your partner must not stop once you are in a relationship.

This is what keeps the fire burning.

  • Leave a sexy voicemail every now and then.
  • Ladies, put on that sexy lingerie and don’t let your lover touch you.
  • Boys, kiss her passionately and leave.
  • During meals, eat fruit (or food in general) suggestively.
  • Ladies, get naughty with that lollypop – he’ll love it.
  • Boys, tell her how you’d kiss her and everything else you’d do to her.

This is how your dear darling will keep wanting for more and the rising tension and excitement shall drive your partner wild and bring benefit to both of you.

Now that we have introduced you to the ways how to build sexual tension, feel free to use them every chance you get.

And, why stop at one?

Spice up.

Mix and match.


Onlineforlove studied and evaluated several factors and ways on how to build sexual tension and concluded that these 11 were the best in general for various forms of relationships.

Our approach was to critically examine every single way in which sexual tensions are built and how effectively people have been able to utilize them.

Our conclusion was based on the different forms and phases of relationships and how best to build sexual tension considering such factors.

Frequently Asked Questions


Sex has been a relevant topic for humankind ever since the dawn of time.

Women want sexual experiences that they will never forget and vice versa.

Throughout history, it was looked upon as a filthy deed that should be practiced merely for reproduction reasons.

Luckily, we do it even if this is not the goal we want to achieve.

Because sex is great on so many levels.

Having it is even better.

However, sometimes all the steps that lead a couple to have sex can be way more fun and interesting than the deed itself.

These steps, all the teasing, and playing are known as sexual tension which is a great way to keep the spark alive.

In the sea of How-to articles, this might be one of the most intriguing ones, since we have just told you how to build sexual tension.

Since you know all the tricks now, feel free to apply them in your love and sex life.

Tease your partner, whisper naughty things in their ear.

Touch them lightly and kiss them softly.

Make them wait for and anticipate what comes once you get in bed (or wherever else you like) together.

Trust us, it will be worthwhile; so start today and build toward that big O you deserve!

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