Chapter 2: Flirting With Girls

How to Flirt with Girls Online

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1. Don’t make it all about likes

Social media has made it easy to show your affection and suggest that you’re enjoying something when you stumble upon a post from your crush.

Flirting with girls online requires a lot of skills and practice.

Before you dive into liking everything they have ever posted, think about it twice.

No girl likes getting 70 notifications regarding likes, usually accompanied with a no way good sentence in DM “what’s up beautiful?”

This is a NO zone and something you should definitely avoid. Liking your crush’s posts is something you should definitely do, but just be reasonable in the amounts of likes.

Your affection towards your crush cannot be measured by liked posts and is definitely not equal.

So instead of stalking them on social media and liking everything they have ever posted, make sure that you like only posts that you relate to most and find most appealing.

If you think about this, posts you choose to like say a lot about you. If you go ahead and like all of them – it’s creepy.

If you go through the feed, find those that show something you and your crush have in common or a photo of your crush that you find really beautiful – those are the posts you should hit like on.

It will certainly create a picture in a girl’s mind and make it easier for you to approach her and start the conversation through instant messaging.

2. Start the conversation in a normal manner

It is super important to start the conversation in the right manner. If you fail in the first step, the bad first impression could cost you a lot – even losing every chance with a girl you like.

So before hitting a send button, you should consider the following: time, channel, tone, and occasion.

Why time?

The time you choose to approach your crush is super important because it says about your habits, as well as the reason you are approaching somebody.

It is well known that guys have a tendency to hit girls’ DMs in the middle of the night when they are feeling lonely or additionally encouraged by alcohol or their friends. 

This isn’t the message you want to send, is it?

You don’t want to say somebody that you’re contacting them only because you have nobody to talk to right now or because you are having fun with your boys and just want to make it even more fun by texting a girl.

Whether these are the reasons for the contact (and we believe are not) you’re telling your crush that she’s not that important and that she’s just a random girl you’re approaching in the middle of the night.

To avoid this, send your first message somewhere during the day, in the period between your classes/work/personal time.

Pick the time you usually have free, because she will expect to hear from you at the same time the next day.

Why channel?

Online flirting has gone wild in the previous years and been proven to bring people together effectively.

That’s why there is a growing number of social media channels you can use and that you should think about.

If you have met through a dating site, think about switching it to the social media, if you have her username for other platforms.

Take into consideration on which platform she spends the most time and how often she is active.

Choose the one that you know she uses daily and also make sure that your profile on that platform or channel is completed.

It will seem untrustworthy if a random profile with no pictures/interests/friends sends her a message.

Why tone?

You really should think about how your sentences sound in your crush’s head.

This might be difficult for you to imagine, but since there is no live physical contact, your crush will interpret your messages based on her own beliefs and things she knows about you so far.

That means that you should take into consideration how she usually communicates, as well as your previous talks (if you had any).

If you know that she likes to joke around, make sure that your message sounds casual and has a funny tone.

If you know that she’s poetic, try going with a romantic, poetic tone and write your message accordingly.

Tip: it could help you to understand her way of communicating if you go through her profile and read posts and captions. We promise it will feel like you’ve already talked with her and now you’re just continuing.

Why occasion?

You’re not just texting people randomly, are you? You need to have a proper occasion for sending a text message.

Of course, the occasion is that you like the girl, we get it, but is that something you want to tell directly or indirectly?

Although life is so much easier when we are honest and direct, flirting isn’t a fan of this. We strongly advise you to think about the smooth, indirect way to show your crush that you like her.

And that smooth way needs to be present from the beginning, meaning your opening line needs to have an occasion.

Good news is that there are so many occasions you can find that you can literally be sure you’ll be able to approach your crush anytime.

The occasion could be anything from their latest post, interesting fact you’ve noticed about them, something that happened to you that day and reminded you of her, an update on something you know she likes (concert of her favorite band, art gallery opening, a new book from her favorite author, etc.).

You can really be picky and choose something that you think will sound most natural and we dare to say it again – in a normal manner.

There are too many guys these days hitting DMs with random messages that either spam or creep out girls. You don’t want to be one of those guys.

That’s why you should think hard about this, do your research, practice your approach, test it on some of your friends maybe, and then make your first step.

They say that the first impression is 70% relevant for the future relationship, so make sure you get it right.

3. Don’t be afraid to be seen in the comments section

Although nothing can substitute the conversation, it is also good to be visible on your crush’s social media profile.

You can take advantage of the previous conversation you’ve had and connect it somehow to their latest post, again sounding normal and natural.

This will show her that you not only like her posts but also listen to what she’s talking to you and finding a connection to other things that are happening in her life.

It is also a good way to show people that there’s something happening between the two of you and it’s more than just a random comment.

This could be a good starter for the conversation, especially if you trigger the end of your previous talk. Don’t be surprised if you find a message from her in your DM.

And don’t be disappointed if you don’t – you can still use comments for the occasion to start the talk and say something like “Don’t want to continue the conversation in the comments, but just want to say…” and then you add the rest of the conversation and say what you want to say.

Make sure you add some emoji to your sentence, and you’re ready to go!

Warning: Before posting any comment, just make sure that what you’re about to say is worth saying.

Don’t comment a post just that you can say you left a comment, but make it somehow relevant. Also, make sure that what you’re posting is in no way shameful, vulgar or disrespectful.

Even if you had talks with your crush previously that had some teasing in it, be aware that this is public section, and that she probably wouldn’t enjoy you commenting about something she finds embarrassing.

On the contrary, she would probably lose trust and respect for you, and that would be the end of any future you possibly had together.

4. Show your funny side

When starting online flirting, there are 2 things that should concern you – how to connect with your crush and how to make her laugh.

Making her laugh is so important due to this equation: she laughs = she feels happy = she wants to keep talking to you because it makes her happy!

It’s as simple as that. Of course, making her laugh isn’t the only thing that will make your crush happy and eager to talk with you, but is one of the things you should focus on, because it works, hehe.

Adding “hahaha” and “hehehe” into your conversation will also help to lift up the atmosphere and making it more enjoyable to chat.

Take care not to go too far and turn your conversation into one big joke – keep other things included, and when discussing serious topics, be serious. But also crack a joke a bit later

5. Use emoticons carefully while flirting

Whoever told you to use winking face 😉 is a bad friend to you and you should stop taking advice from this person.

No, seriously, using winking face has become creepy and girls really don’t like it. So whoever advises you to do so, either really doesn’t know how to flirt or doesn’t want you to flirt successfully.

Don’t get us wrong – using a winking face is not completely bad. You can use it from time to time to make some point, refer to some promise or just keep things fun and interesting.

Unfortunately, too much usage of winking face now has a sexual connotation, which we advise you to avoid at the beginning of the flirting.

Most girls wouldn’t feel comfortable when receiving winking face emoji 😉 all the time and would find a guy untrustworthy.

On the other hand, you can go with some other emoji like grin face 😀 or cute face :3. Eventually, you can add even a kiss :* if everything is going smoothly.

6. Add some compliments casually

You like this girl, and you want to show her that, but in a smooth, casual way, you remember that.

Instead of popping out with a big compliment like “I really love how you dress”, you could go with something subtle and somewhere in the middle of the conversation mention “It’s really elegant (referring to something you’ve been talking about). Just as the way you dress”.

This is much more subtle and smooth, and a girl will appreciate it and find you thoughtful.

When girls are faced with a direct compliment – they might get confused or feel uncomfortable. Believe it or not, hearing compliment is not that pleasant as you believe.

You need to know how to give one in order for a girl to feel flattered.

So just bear in mind – complimenting your girl is a MUST DO, but do it in a subtle, elegant way.

7. Keep the conversation in a playful light

At some point, you would really like to make the conversation challenging and start teasing your girl in a lite, playful and polite way.

You can go by challenging some of her interests, deals you’ve made, etc. for example, if she says she enjoys playing darts, you can challenge how good she is in darts.

Say something like: “Darts, hmm, I wonder if I can beat you in that”. Of course, know your limit, and don’t push the conversation into proving that you are smarter, more skillful or better in anything.

Instead, use this topic for a first date idea, and invite her for a game of darts. Tell her you would really like to see her play and that you’re looking forward to losing the match if she’s so good.

Always make sure that what you challenge is in no way your crush’s vulnerable spot. For example, if she says she doesn’t like swimming and never goes for a swim, don’t challenge this topic immediately.

It might be something small and irrelevant, or it could be something big and serious she wouldn’t enjoy being teased for.

Start with something light she enjoys talking about, and leave heavier topics for later.

8. Share something personal about yourself

If you’ve been chatting for a couple of days now and it became your routine, it’s time you get to know each other better.

Of course, it would be too much if you started telling your life story via social media when you haven’t even met yet.

But it’s a nice detail if you tell something about yourself that can not be seen on your social media.

It’s up to you how personal you want to get. We encourage you to leave deep stuff for the date and share something light for the beginning.

Sharing something that other people don’t know about you says that you are being honest, open, and that you trust your crush. This will set the base for her opening up to you and for building trust in your relationship.

If she opens up to you and shares something as well, make sure that you memorize it and mention it sometime in the future. This will show that you are listening carefully and that you care about what she has to say.

9. Don’t leave her on hold

Even though not responding immediately will leave a trail of mystery around you, don’t do it too often.

It’s cool not to answer immediately, but it’s not cool not to answer for 24h without any explanation.

Remember, you want her to like you, and you want to send her the signal that you like her. Ignoring her will not contribute to it.

So if you have to do something or be somewhere else, make sure you let her know and tell her you can’t talk anymore. Say something like “Hey, I gotta go now.

I’m meeting my friends in 10 minutes. It was nice talking to you. Looking forward to hearing the second part of that story”.

This might sound as too much, but it’s not. It’s really polite and thoughtful. It shows that you have some other things in your life, but you are looking forward to making some time for her in your life as well.

Another benefit is that it gives you a cool occasion for the next talk – you just pick up where you left.

Bear in mind that “Don’t leave her on hold” doesn’t mean “be online all the time and respond immediately”.

You should show that you have other things in your life as well and that you are not internet junky. Just make sure that you make some time for her as well and that you respond in a respectful period of time.

10. Ask her out

Flirting online is awesome – thrilling, exciting and adventurous, but having a virtual girlfriend is not what you want to settle for. If things are going well and you would like to move things up, ask her out!

It’s really important not to wait too long for this. If you wait too long, she might find you indecisive, shy or insecure.

On the other hand, if you ask her out immediately, it might sound pushy, and she might say yes. It’s all about balance if you follow what we want to say.

You should give her enough time to get to know you and start liking you.

When you notice that she really enjoys talking to you, asking questions about you or mentioning some fun things she likes to do, that’s when you should go ahead and ask her for a date.

Remember what we said – you can use some of her hobbies and interests and ask her out to do her favorite things together.

It’s always better to make it about her and not about you, as she will feel more confident and appreciated.

Sealing up date should be your ultimate goal for flirting online and a stepping stone for a relationship you want to build, so make sure you do everything perfectly up to this point, and you’ll have no trouble asking your girl out!

It could be as simple as this: “Hey, what are you doing on Saturday afternoon? I really want to check out that movie you recommended. Would you like to go to the cinema with me?”

Add some emoji to this sentence, and you got yourself a date!

We will be discussing the best time and way to ask girls out, but first, you gotta get her number!