Chapter 6: Why Do Men Fail?

Top 9 deal breakers for men

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1. Lack of confidence

First things, first! Never lack confidence. Even if you think it’s not about confidence, they’ll take it as it is. For example: “I don’t know, where would you like to go?”.

Even though it’s somewhat honest and you really have no idea where to go, try at least to suggest something to prevent you from joining the league of men that want answers to the question “why do men fail?”

Girls will find this as a sign of lack of confidence, which is a huge deal breaker. If you can’t think of any place at the moment, everything is better than the abovementioned “where’d you like to go?”.

Instead, tell her you’ll think of someplace and let her know. There are also statements that you should be cautious of.

Even though you intend to compliment a girl, sometimes, it might sound a bit unconfident. For example, saying something like: “I can’t believe that someone like you would date someone like me”.

Even though you just want to compliment her and tell her she is way out of your league, don’t! If you let her know that you are not worthy of her, she will simply look for someone else that might be.

You sound like you are unsure of yourself, which is, again, the biggest deal breaker.

Obviously, the most “problematic” part is the one where you need to kiss her or ask for a phone number. If you hesitate, the opportunity may fade away.

If the kiss occurs, and everything starts well, keep in mind that sharing too much at the early stage (your intimate thoughts) might sound a bit feminine, which is again, sweet as might be taken as emotional, but on the other side- they want a man with masculinity and confidence.

So give her that. Be the man, decide and lead.

2. You are unstable

You are unstable, means they are unsure. It’s simple as it gets. Are you struggling to pay your bills? Are you unemployed? That can, on a strange level, for some girls, be sexy, but not for long.

As mentioned, they all look for some stability, insurance, security. 

The first question a woman asks herself is (even subconsciously, if not consciously): “Is this man able to support my family and me our future kids?”

This is instinctive thinking and don’t take it personally.

It’s well-known that man should be the foundation of the family, the one who brings food on the table, etc. That was 2 million years ago and still is.

Think about getting into a more stable financial situation because an unstable man is no go for women.

3. Not their type

Obviously, this is one of the clearest deal breakers, but don’t take it for granted. If she doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean that she won’t start liking you.

In most of the cases, she won’t change her mind, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

You might grab her attention with some other things, but there’s always a risk she will look for 6-foot tall athlete instead of you, the 5-foot tall programmer.

4. You are a cliché

Are you trying to hit on a beautiful woman? Then you’ll need to be better than a hundred men. There is literary every single approach she has heard, so you need to be different.

Probably, she has heard “you are the most beautiful woman in the world” a lot of times, and you will be just one in the line who’s telling her this and boosting her ego, again.

This one is a double-edged sword as you don’t want to chase a princess to whom the whole world bows. The first, and the only rule of approaching a beautiful woman is:

Never admit her physical beauty!

You will probably be the first one who’s not pumping her ego with “how beautiful you are” statements.

5. Being Dishonest

She asked you to do something, but you completely slipped that off of your mind? Try not to lie. Or is it just a lame excuse for being late? Again, try not to lie.

Your age? Try not to lie. There is no big deal breaker as dishonesty is.

Instead, just be honest and own it like a man. Anyway, it can’t go worse than with you lying and her finding of it.

6. Your presence isn’t working for her

Here are some things you should definitely not take for granted. Body language and hygiene.

How’s your breath lately? Your body posture? The clothes you are wearing, are those in good shape?

These things might look irrelevant, and you know, there is always good old “love is immaterial”.

True that love is, but there is a long way from meeting your date for the first time and the love.

One of the biggest obstacles between these two terms is the first impression. It really matters. If your breath stinks, then it is no-go.

If your clothes are dirty and old, probably a no-go. All these little things subconsciously affect our first impression, even though we reject them as irrelevant, there is a small dwarf in your head pointing out that dirty jeans she’s wearing.

No matter how handsome you are, if you ate onions that day, there’s not a single girl that’ll fall for you.

Women are like vampires, they don’t go along with onions, and they’ll sooner or later suck you dry. Joking! About the onions part.

7. Moving too fast

Sticking tongue down the date’s throat on the first date never seemed like a good idea. Are you expressing your love after 30 mins of drinking coffee?

Slow down, buddy; there will be plenty of time to do all of these things in the future.

But not if you do them in the first several minutes. A golden rule is: you want what you can’t have, and you can’t have what you want.

Simply act as you don’t want, and you will have her sooner or later. Because, if she knows she can have you at the drop of her hat, you are way out of her league.

8. Be a gentleman

Today, gentlemen are often mistaken for desperate men, willing to do anything to get into their ladies pants.

So, imagine this situation: there are two range rovers, and your car is in between.

There is fairly little space between them, and for some reason, you needed to stop there and let your lady out.

Now, you want to open those doors and be a true gentleman (way to go!), but there are two gigantic cars, and in order to open those doors you will need to squeeze your ass and leave your nuts on the side mirror.

This might look desperate. Then, don’t do it. Simply be a gentleman when it’s obvious, and with dignity.

9. Buying love

Now, this one is not a deal breaker in case you are looking for hookups. On the contrary, this one is a magnet. There are a lot of girls who would fall for Mercedes Benz C class or Porsche.

But, if you are looking for real love, for the one- then this is not the way. Buying them roses, fancy dinners, and rings won’t do the trick.

But, it might help a bit!

However, you will need more than that. Because, once they realize there’s no happiness in money or anything material, they’ll try to look for someone more compatible (since there are no mutual interests between you too).

And that, my friend, I wish to no one.

Final Thoughts on Online dating for men

So, boys, this was our short guide on how to date online. We’ve walked you through every single step of dating online, and focused on this “online” part of the dating life.

Although we gave just a short glimpse of how to translate “online” into “offline”, our team of experts and researchers are already working on another guide that might help you achieve your goals further in offline dating, as well.

All of the tips we’ve previously shared are based on more than 2200 experiences, of which 1500 are women’s and 750 men’s.

With that in mind, we can conclude that this short guide is like all those women directly speaking to you, helping you know good from bad, and explaining what they really want to hear, how do they want you to act, etc.

Since online dating is quite tricky, as sometimes there is the distance of over 1000 miles between you two, we’ve created a useful guide on how to preserve long-distance relationships, and make them work with ease. Be sure to check it out.

Congratulations, you now hold a bachelor degree in online dating for men!