As dating has become a very online part of our lives, we have all encountered various types of guys while looking for the one that will improve our love life.
Among these different types of guys are also a lot of men you should definitely be avoided, so if you don’t have a “guys, not to date list,” then you’ve come to the right place.
Here’s what I have for you on Men to Avoid:
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What are the Types of Men to Avoid?
There are numerous guy types that you should probably avoid dating in your lifetime; however, there are the top 5 kinds of guys that have no redeeming qualities.
If you read this and recognize one of your exes in these descriptions, take this as the Universe’s sign that there should be no second chances for that one.
If you are currently talking to a guy like one from my list, and maybe notifications from his messages are coming on your phone as you read this, it’s time to find an escape strategy.
Trust me, and your mental health will be thankful.
So, let’s get into the list:
1. No Effort Guy
I would venture to say that we’ve all probably had an experience with this guy, or maybe even a few of them, as there seems to be a lot of them on social media and dating apps.
This is the guy that will only send short and uninterested messages, just saying “Hi,” “Hey,” or “What’s up,” and it’s always on you to carry the rest of the conversation.
Once you do ask the questions and lead the conversation, he might even engage in it, but he never starts it, and overall, he just seems like talking to you is the last thing he would like to do.
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And more often than not, it’s the very hot and attractive guys who have this type of behavior going for them.
That’s why girls will usually keep talking to this type of guy even if the conversations keep being dreadful.
If this is the case, then it’s very likely that the guy you’re talking to has no insecurities, and while that is generally a good thing, sometimes he can seem like a bit of a narcissist because he knows he’s hot and therefore doesn’t need to put in the effort.
To be fair, sometimes guys are just bad at online communication, and once you do go out, their personality shines through in real life, but I must say, this is a very rare occurrence, and just one date will be enough to prove this to you.
It’s also very unlikely that he will change, and since you kept going for him even though he put less than the bare minimum into the conversation, he won’t think that there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing.
2. Angry Guy
The angry guy isn’t necessarily the guy who just outright screams at anything and everything, and that is why this red flag is usually easily looked over in the beginning stages of the relationship.
However, there are little things that come out even in the very beginning that will tell you that this guy is indeed an angry type of guy, and that will be your cue to run.
Many of these guys usually have a lot of pent-up anger just waiting to be unleashed, and this manifests in many forms.
He can start being very controlling very soon into the relationship, and he can also angrily manipulate a lot of things while making you feel unworthy while he does so.
Also, be aware of how he talks about women in general.
He might be all nice and caring towards you, but it’s not impossible that that nice act is nothing more than an act, and the number one thing that will give him away, is the way he talks about women.
If his attitudes about women are something that sounds like it might have come from a macho podcast, it’s only a question of time when he will be trying to “put you in your place” and become very angry if you say no to that.
You should also be very aware of how he treats people who he thinks are below him, so for example, restaurant staff, is he friendly and respectful, or does he throw a fit the moment something goes a bit south?
While these things might seem not such a huge deal, as they don’t have anything to do with you directly, they are actually a snippet of how he might act once you guys bump into an issue in your relationship.
If he acts as a control freak and if even the slightest changes in plans throw him off to a fit, then you have to make sure that you have an escape strategy, as this isn’t the man you want to have next to you.
Yes, the bad boy type of a guy is hot in movies and romance books, but in real life, it’s something you should run from.
3. Love Bomber
This type of guy is something that’s been talked about a whole lot more in recent days, and love-bombing has become somewhat of a catchphrase on the Internet, but do you actually know what it means and why it is a major red flag especially if you met on a dating site (like BeNaughty or Ashley Madison).
The love bomber is the guy who, really early on, in the earlies stages of the relationship, starts giving you way too much attention, and he acts as if you’ve been dating for a really long time.
Without exaggeration, he might be telling you he loves you and plans to spend his whole life with you only after you’ve just gone on one date.
He might frequently be talking about what your shared future would look like, and he also starts making really long-term plans that involve the two of you.
Overall, he’s going to be a big talker.
There are many reasons why someone might love bombing you.
He might be very insecure, so he tends to stick really easy and really fast to the first person that gives him attention, as that’s the only way he can find his self-worth.
But, on the other hand, love bombing is something that’s tied to manipulating and gaslighting, so it’s a tactic to lure you in, only to get some bigger benefit out of the relationship.
Either way, this isn’t based in reality and is going to end up being a huge problem in your life, so if he starts doing this, make sure that you take matters into your own hands and break things off.
Trust me, your future self will be very glad that you did, as it will only get harder to get rid of him as the times go by.
4. Imaginary Guy
The imaginary guy isn’t something I use to talk about in your favorite book boyfriend or favorite film characters that you like to fantasize about, and you can keep them.
I’m referring to the type of guy who only keeps your relationship online and avoids every chance he can to meet you in person.
Some guys love the stability of having a girl to chat to online, so once they find a girl that fits the description they are looking for, they will make sure that they keep her right where they want her – online.
Don’t get me wrong, there are online relationships (like eHarmony or Tinder) that have worked, and people have had their happily ever afters after the meeting, for example, in a game-related server, but these are all things where there was always a clear meeting point in sight.
With the imaginary guy, everything stays strictly online.
If this happens to you, try asking why he is doing what he is doing and see if there is something else that might be suspicious in his behavior.
When getting into an online relationship, set a time frame for yourself for how long you will be willing to keep things going until you have to meet.
If he keeps avoiding it, and you come to your set time limit, then you need to break things off, as it is more than likely that he just never plans to meet you at all.
5. Game Player
There are men who love to play games, and they thrive on it.
And no, I don’t mean playing video games; a gamer guy can often be the sweetest boyfriend that you ever have.
I am talking about psychological games.
So, this is the guy who will leave you on reading or reply only after a certain amount of time, he will keep you waiting, and overall, every step he takes will be highly calculated.
Back in the day, the main piece of dating advice was that you should keep your potential future partner waiting and play these little mind games that allegedly make the heart grow fonder.
Nowadays, we know that that’s the worst advice that you could get, and playing a cat and mouse game, where someone always has to be chasing someone, is the most frustrating thing that can happen to you while you’re dating.
Besides guys who are overly calculated in their steps, other types of men that are considered players are the guys who have the tendency to lie about the most random things.
If you catch him lying about what he’s doing or about something related to his past, while there’s no logical explanation for why he had to lie, this is a huge red flag.
More times than not, it has happened that the guy who lies is also the guy who is a cheater, so these games will very often turn from one thing into another, inevitably ending with you being hurt.
What Are Some Things To Look For When Dating A Guy
So, we’ve made a list of guys who you should avoid at all costs, but after all that negativity, you might find yourself thinking about what it is that you should actually look for in a guy.
There can be an extensive list made for this, and there are books out there written with this being the main theme, but today, I will just give you a compact list of things that are the brightest green flags that you can find.
Here are the traits that you should be looking for:
- He makes you feel loved and appreciated, and he shows that he values you
- He is responsible for his finances and has a mature relationship with money
- He doesn’t get jealous, neither of other guys nor your own happiness and accomplishments
- He respects your personality and who you are as a whole, what you do, what you do and don’t like, and where you come from, and he stays respectful even when you disagree
- He is confident and isn’t afraid of being wrong and saying sorry
- He is funny and has a sense of humor, and he can make you laugh and turn a stressful situation around with his humor
- We all know communication is key, so when he not only talks but listens actively to what you have to say and wants to talk things out whenever something goes wrong
- He genuinely wants you to be happy, so he is supportive of the things you do that are important to you, and he doesn’t sabotage you or feel threatened by your success
- He isn’t a stranger to self-sacrifice, so he’s willing to, from time to time, sacrifice his comfort in order to do something meaningful for you
- He focuses on you, and he wants to know how your day has been, what did you do, and what you want to do; he shows genuine interest in your life
Men probably have more green flags, but these 10 are the most important ones that should be non-negotiable and that a guy should always have if you want to date him.