Welcome to our article on asking a girl out!
In this article, we’ll invoke our decades of experience to guide you on:
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If you’re desperately interested in a girl you’ve just met and you want to call her out for a date over text, you’ve come to the right place.
It doesn’t really matter if you met her on Tinder or BeNaughty, eHarmony, or Ashley Madison, or any other online dating platform, once you start texting a girl, and you want to ask her out, you’ve to be smart and cool about it at the same time.
Here, our dating coaches will show you some of the coolest ways to ask a girl for a date over text conversations.
But first, there are some common mistakes that you have to avoid when you call her out.
1. Never give up
Before we explain how to ask a girl out over text, it’s good to point out what isn’t appropriate when you want to call a girl out for a date.
From experience, there are lots of mistakes that we would love to point out so you can learn about them and avoid them when texting and asking girls to go out with you.
Firstly, if you’re disappointed with her negative reply for a date idea you initiated, you need to stay calm.
Don’t overreact if you see her refusal.
Preserve your peace and go on.
Don’t get anxious if you get rejected when you ask a girl out on a date for the first time.
This is normal, you have to fail sometimes.
But don’t get your spirits down!
It just shows that the way you asked isn’t appropriate.
It can even be a sign that you have to use some new methods on how to do it properly.
In this article, we’ll show you the right tricks and little secrets on how to ask a girl out over text and remain cool and confident.
Therefore, self-confidence is fundamental when asking a girl out for a date.
We know asking someone out is not so easy (especially via text), but just in case you’re feeling a little bit unconfident, don’t show it to her.
If you don’t have confidence, it is most likely that you will face a negative response from her.
But, don’t worry about a thing.
Just follow the good examples below, and you will learn how not to lose your faith and to go on with your plan.
2. Don’t show that you are angry
Don’t show your angry emotions (not even with emojis) when she isn’t able to meet you in person.
We all know the importance of face-to-face meetings and how body language and eye contact can be a game-changer.
But remember that not everyone is always ready to date.
Therefore, you should show your understanding.
It might also happen that your girl doesn’t reply to your messages straightaway.
This doesn’t automatically mean that she is ignoring you.
So, we would sincerely advise you to stop sending her countless angry messages if she isn’t responsive.
You shouldn’t force the communication.
Well, if you don’t know what to text a girl, you should try to use some cute pick-up lines that will help kickstart the conversation.
And let the conversation flow smoothly and spontaneously.
Still, if she is not replying immediately, perhaps it means that she is very busy at that very moment, and we expect you to understand and respect that.
But if you send her too many text messages just because she didn’t text back immediately, you may end up looking needy.
So you should hide how much you want to talk to her and play it cool.
It is better to pretend that you are not dying to go out with her because if you show that you are concerned about her refusal, it can reduce the success rate of your next try.
In a case she refused to go out with you, just wait for seven or ten days before asking her out again.
We know this might be difficult, but you can always try again and ask her out some other time.
Also, always keep your communication open even if she didn’t want to go out with you in the first place.
Dating experts will advise you to be wise when you choose your words and don’t let her know about your disappointment.
We know that her refusal to meet you can be uncomfortable, but your task is to overcome it and wait for the right time to ask her out here again.
3. Don’t express your feelings right away
Frankly, we do believe strongly that you don’t have to express all your wishes about her immediately.
This might sound strange, but sometimes, you have to hide your feeling and emotions (especially at the beginning of your conversation).
From our findings, it is important to learn how to make a girl like you over texting before taking it to the next level.
For example, if you meet a sexy lady, you don’t need to say: “Hey, you look gorgeous, let’s have sex.”
If you say so, it might ruin all your chances to continue your conversation with her.
This is because there are things to ask a girl in your first text and flirty text messages should be saved for much later.
Rather, hide your initial feelings about her, and tell her something simple but interesting like: “I love the way you wear your clothes”, or “You look wonderful tonight”.
Or you can simply say when you meet your match: “Looking sharp” and then after a smile, you can continue your spontaneous communication.
By doing so, you have more chances to get her on your side without being direct and overly open to her.
Actually, you need to be open, but you should choose your words wisely when messaging.
So, pay attention to how you handle your emotions and feelings.
Make sure you don’t overthrow the girl with your amusement.
Always endeavor to keep it real and stay down to earth.
Instead of showing your anger, you should try to be a little bit mysterious.
It will trigger her to go out with you.
In short, you should appear as someone who has self-confidence, an exceptional personality, a good sense of humor, and an honest and charming vibe.
4. Don’t use the word “Date”
It can sound silly, but trust us when we say you shouldn’t use the word “date” when you ask a girl out.
Just think of all the dates that you have had, and you will realize that they usually didn’t have a form of a date at all.
Just a spontaneous fun day out of having fun with someone you like.
Well, that’s the point.
Besides, girls tend to get scared when they know that you’re asking them for a date.
The word brings some kind of obligation with it when you think about that.
If she goes out on a date, she will have to dress nicely.
She will have to stay for long.
She will have to follow your plan and do things that she might not enjoy.
What if she doesn’t like you and you expect to kiss her at the end of a date!?
So, when you ask her out, you should not say: “Hey, let’s have a date tonight”.
By no means!
Avoid this obvious and classic way of asking her out!
So, what should you say when you are obviously asking her out on a date?!
In this case, you can ask her to:
1. Hang out with you somewhere outside
2. Meet up for a concert or a gig
3. Rendezvous if you want to sound French and more romantic
4. To go out with you for a cup of coffee
5. Go hiking
6. Try to cycle together
7. Do some other sports activities
8. Invite her to go with you to an art exhibition
All these different ways to call her out will increase your success when texting your girl and asking her for a date.
So, as you can see, you need to be creative when asking her out and even try to hide the fact that you are.
5. Avoid the friend zone at all costs
Ask a girl you barely know out for a dinner over text.
Damn, that was definitely a mistype.
It should state:
“NEVER ask a girl you barely know out for a dinner”.
Especially not through the text.
From experience, this is the easiest way of you getting labeled as a friend.
Of course, we can’t stop you.
If you’ve seen that the dinner thing works in the movies, why wouldn’t you try it out and see it for yourself?
Anyhow, no one will blame you for trying.
We’re just trying to save you some time of being hooked to a girl.
Actually, on second thought, you could probably pull this one out.
But before you even try, think about these five reasons we’re going to selflessly share with you:
1. You hardly know her and dinner is pretty limited when it comes to things you can do. What if you ran out of conversation topics? There is nothing to fill the silence.
2. You will have to take her to a high-end restaurant to show that you are a real gentleman. But do you really want to spend all that money on a person you hardly know?
3. In a restaurant, you can’t really be open and your fun self. You can’t tell jokes, laugh too much, make funny faces, or whatever your signature move is. And once your body language is wrong, the date is literally over.
4. You will just be sitting face to face opposite of this person you have probably never seen before. You have to look at their face all night, and it can be kinda awkward with people you don’t know all that well (or at all!)
5. If things go well, all you can do is touch her hand. No getting close.
It’s always better to find some casual place for a first date.
Instead of inviting her out to a formal dinner, you better invite her to a cool place or suggest a fun outdoor activity.
That’s the way to be creative and different from the majority of other guys.
Do you need some dating ideas?
Here you are:
1. Ask her out to the nearest beach.
2. Suggest a barbecue in a cozy place.
3. Invite her to play your favorite sport with you.
4. Go bowling together.
5. Invite her out for a game of mini-golf.
6. You can play pool together.
7. Organize a picnic for the two of you.
8. Think about a museum. Some of them are cheap or the ticket is based on a donation only. So, it might be a great idea.
9. Ask her for a bike ride in nature. If you don’t have one, you can always rent a bike.
10. Find out if there is any local fair or carnival in the area and invite her to go with you.
Now, we already said that there is no asking her for a “date”.
So, let’s give you an idea of how to do it and not sound lame, but just kinda mask your question into an innocent conversation.
“Oh, I have a special talent. I am the best bowler in the world! I bet you could never beat me.”
And then when she says that she could beat you with her eyes close, here is your chance.
“Oh yeah!? Then prove it!”
But more on it later.
Best way to ask a girl for a date over text
Here are our top tips on how to ask your girl out over text and hopefully, score a date.
Knowing how to ask a girl on a date over text is definitely not the same as asking a girl out at work.
Whatever the case is, we have said before, don’t use the word “date” while asking her out.
Imagine you went out on a date with your colleague at work last night and the date didn’t go well, the next day (this morning) will be very awkward for both of you.
It brings a lot of responsibility and, frankly speaking, it puts too much pressure on the people on a date.
Don’t act like a jerk, either.
What we are going to do is to kill two birds with one stone.
It’s not about asking her to go out with you.
Forget about it.
It’s about a suggestion to hang out together in some cool and adorable place and have a nice convo.
Just look at this SMS example and see how creative he was when he suggested this place to go out with her.
So, you see our point.
The idea is to find a common interest and use it wisely as both a conversation starter and to ask her out.
That’s the key.
Try to lead the conversation in the direction that will give you enough room to ask her out.
Find out more information about her, and it will help you to invite her out and suggest an interesting idea for a non-date date.
You can as questions like this: “what do you like to do on weekends?”.
But if you want to avoid boring clichés and be original, then you can ask her out in this way:
“Oh, I found this superb new pool place. I bet you can’t beat me in a million years!”
You can, of course, change the text above depending on what you and your future date like or find interesting and follow-up with other more appealing suggestions if she didn’t bite the first time.
Now you can see that this idea is much better than a regular: “Wanna go out on a date sometime?”
We honestly can’t imagine a sane man saying this or a girl on which this approach will work.
Especially a girl who doesn’t actually know the man.
She will probably accept your challenge and agree to go out just to show you how much better she is.
Girls like to be in right, don’t you think!?
However, sometimes a direct approach might work just as well.
Here you see how direct he was when he asked her for a date without even mentioning the word date.
What’s more, he didn’t ask her a lot of boring questions.
He simply and politely asked if she is free after work on Thursday or Friday.
And you see what happened – she responded positively.
Besides, she surprisingly mentioned a glass of wine, lol, even though he texted her asking only for a drink or a coffee.
You see how it works.
So, it’s good to be direct from time to time.
Still, if you just recently met a girl, we wouldn’t suggest this too open method.
It might scare the girl off and ruin your chances.
On the other hand, when you text a girl you like, suggest the place and time courageously.
Suggest to her some cool and brand-new wine bar or a coffee shop.
You can even send her a photo of the bar or link for an event organized at the place you are suggesting to go to.
Just like this guy did it here.
And, guess what happened?
She agreed to meet up with him on Friday at about 9.
This is how it goes.
You just need to be brave and polite.
Sometimes it can be easy to ask a girl to go out with you but you need to have an amazing idea for the place of your date.
Asking her to go out for food is also a good thing to start with.
Especially if you’re both foodies.
It’s a good way to bring you closer to a girl.
Sharing a meal is already a sign of closeness.
But not in a restaurant!
Just find a good place for casual food and invite her out to join you.
Look below how this guy made it easy.
You see how easy it can be if you are brave and decisive when texting to girls.
This guy was clear when suggesting a proper time for a date.
He also had a great idea of what to offer to her.
In his case, a date plan was made easy-peasy.
So stop being scared of when to ask a girl out or how to talk to a girl over text – just do it!
Try to check our next steps so you can make it real in your conversation with girls.
The best way to ask a girl out over text
Most men ask girls out like this: “Hey, I would like to take you on a date”.
Or they ask: “Hey, I want to buy you a drink. Are you free sometime?”
They something along the lines of: “Hey, I would like to take you out next Sunday. Are you available?”
C’mon, dude, is this how to ask someone out for real?
Well, good luck with that!
Now, all these examples are pretty terrible.
And, why are they terrible?
Well, first of all, they are boring.
Secondly, there is no excitement in these texts.
Thirdly, once she reads this, she doesn’t get a feel or a vision of what a date with you would be like.
Of course, these questions could work if the girl is already into you or if you already know her.
But, when you pose a question like this on Tinder or any social media platform to a girl that is not 100 % convinced of your awesomeness yet or a girl that has just met you, then your chance of success is going to be very low.
Nevertheless, this is not the main problem.
The main problem is that you are asking.
And you should but in a more… demanding way.
Now, we don’t want to be rude or sound like a douche, but asking like this is not all that manly, don’t you think?
But if you say something like “Hey, let’s go grab a drink this Saturday.”, you sound like the plan is already made and the chances she will say “yes” are much higher.
Of course, we’re not saying that she will drop everything she’s doing or everything she has planned to go out with you, but she might suggest another date if this one doesn’t suit her.
What you need to do here is to create a vibe that, if she meets up with you, makes her life better and makes her long for a second date.
And if she doesn’t meet up with you, she is missing out on some of the fun.
So, you want to enrich her life, and you have to enrich it emotionally.
And if you can do this, then asking her out, trust me, will be the easiest thing in the world.
So, how do you do this?
Well, obviously by sending fun texts, uploading some fun photos, and having fun Instagram stories.
But what is the best way to ask a girl out over text?
You might want to start by asking her about her plans for a weekend.
If she doesn’t have any special plans, you might invite her out in a manner stated before: either saying that you will go out with her or leading her to say that she likes something and then promising to take her there.
But beware; don’t be too slow to ask her out!
Don’t keep thinking “should I ask her out?”
Because if you don’t, someone else will.
Also, you don’t need to make a science out of asking her out.
Keep it brief and simple.
Just ask her something like, “Interested in a film tomorrow?” or “Let’s go hiking this Saturday morning?”
You can also try other dating suggestions as proposed in the picture below.
You see how he impressed her in this conversation.
He was cool enough to suggest the place and time of their meeting, but he remained cool and easy-going.
That is why we believe it’s extremely important to state a concrete place and time of your meeting point.
This will show her that you’re caring and you thought about it before.
Give her a chance to suggest something else, too.
Don’t go out throwing a tantrum just because she can’t go out with you when you wanted or because she suggested something else!
Perhaps she wishes to go out and spend time with you, but she doesn’t like hiking.
Maybe she wants to go out with you to a restaurant, but she just visited that place you proposed and didn’t like it.
Show her that you have a solid plan, but stay open to her ideas, too.
And always answer her messages.
Iron out all the details about your meeting if she is interested in going out with you.
The next step is to agree on where and when you will get together, and consider making driving preparations if needed.
Once you arrange your appointment, end the chat and say something like “Excellent, see you on Friday!”
Make sure you will let her see that you are looking forward to meeting her in person.
This will certainly make her feel exceptional.
By respecting her personality, you will have a good ground for taking her out for a date.
The methodology we used for this article on how to ask a girl out over text was to gather and analyze the different ways that text messages or chats can be used to successfully ask a girl out on a date and arrive at a selected few.
Our approach and conclusion were based on factors such as how long the conversations have been going on, the familiarity between both parties, and the platform (social or dating) that the conversation was initiated.
Hopefully, this article will help you out on your dating journey.
If you were too lazy to read, here’s a short brief:
While texting to her, don’t forget to put an accent on your strengths and try to minimize your weaknesses.
Use the proper words and be creative with your dating ideas.
Show her you’re different from others.
Learning and practicing how to ask a girl out over text is not so hard.
We’re sure that those tips will make you feel more confident and freer to act creatively.
If you are still asking yourself: “How can I ask a girl out over text?”, bear in mind those steps we presented you here, and don’t be afraid.
Dating is always about trying and practicing.
So, don’t waste your time, use those tips, and send her a cool message!