Hi guys, welcome to this informative guide on asking a girl for her number.
This guide, however, will make it piecemeal for you to ask a girl for her number and get it by taking you through:
Let’s get you some pretty girls’ numbers right away!
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And even if you met the girl on a purely hookup site (like BeNaughty or Ashley Madison) or a site for serious connections only (like harmony), getting her phone number may get really awkward sometimes.
More often than not.
This happens because you do not know how to seamlessly work it into the conversation.
If you get awkward-she gets awkward, and things are going nowhere.
Luckily for you, we’re here to help you find a seemingly effortless way of working it into a conversation without interrupting the flow.
1. Understand the basis
Can you challenge this guy or should you actually do something completely different?
Well, there is something similar and way more moderate that you can do, but let us first get to building up the basis towards getting a girl’s cellphone number.
What would that basis be?
The thing about sharing something personal like a phone number is that it is personal, just like your dating life.
Would you share personal information of any kind with a stranger so easily?
So, to actually get a cute girl’s phone number you need to get to know her.
Or rather, let her get to know you.
This is because when a girl gives you her number, she has given you access to call, text, and even ask her out on a first date.
So she needs to be comfortable and trust you enough to share that kind of information.
Once the question is out there, in those few seconds she takes to answer, this is what is going through her head:
Should I give it to him?
Is he a creep?
Why does he want it?
Will he send me dozens of messages every day?
There is an alarm sounding off in her head, warning her that what she is doing could be dangerous (Courtesy of creeps all offer the world.)
The extent of her comfort and trust will depend on the context.
If you’ve been chatting in a bar for half an hour, she will have “a feeling” if you are someone who can suit her or not.
If you are already an acquaintance, you are one step closer to her giving you the number since you already have some mutual friends (provided that she did not hear anything nasty about you).
If you have been chatting for a while she may enjoy that, but she will be cautious.
So before you ask for women’s phone numbers at least spend some time talking to them either on an online dating platform or offline.
2. Pick the right timing
As in everything in life, timing is crucial in dating.
How to ask for a girl’s number is as important as when to ask her.
If you’re having a great conversation with a girl you like, make sure to maintain eye contact at all times because it is positive body language, and make your move while on it.
Usually, guys tend to wait until the end of the conversation and ask this question.
This can work if you play it right, but it is not the safest option.
What is your safest option?
What are the tell-tale signs that she does, you ask?
Here they are.
- If she’s laughing at your jokes even if they are not particularly funny
- If she does not shudder or back away when you try to touch her or get closer to her
- If she touches you and gets closer to you
- If she shares some personal and intimate details about her
- If she is teasing you
- If her texts are as long as, or longer than yours
- If she is open to at least talking about spending time with you (i.e. go see a football game)
- If she asks you personal questions
If this is how the conversation is going, pick a moment where everything seems great to ask her to give you her phone number.
“We are having so much fun and I am enjoying your company; let me get your phone number”.
After saying this, continue with the conversation.
If you see her blushing or smiling you can have a mini internal celebration – she likes you.
So, to emphasize, the best moment to ask is the peak of your conversation.
If you choose to use the phone number as a conversation pick-me-up you will probably strike out as she will wonder what prompted you to ask since you are not having that much fun to start with.
If you lead with the question, “can I get your number” she will think that is the only thing on your mind.
3. Make some good plans
Making plans is a great excuse to ask for her phone number.
Let’s assume that you have been messaging or talking for a while now.
You have talked about your favorite places to go out and eat or drink.
You have talked about your favorite movies and activities.
So, since you now know what she likes and what you would both enjoy you can devise a conversation if it does not come up spontaneously-i.e. talk about what you would like to do in the next few days.
Suggest that you “go and see that, go and visit this, eat here, drink there”.
Asking her for her number at that point will tie your question with your plans and she will feel that the number is not all you want.
In some cases, she might give you her number without you asking because you’re actually making plans together.
This sub-communicates that you enjoy spending time with her, because this does not have to be said explicitly.
Also, if she likes what you suggested and you have been all funny and interesting she has no reason to decline the offer.
A plus here would be to let her chose the time and suggest the location since that would let her be in control of something and thus feel more confident and comfortable around you.
4. It’s time to decide!
Yes, definitely ask.
It is better to ask and strike out than not do anything at all.
Here, there are a few common variations.
Some guys bluntly ask “Hey, would you give me your phone number?”
Some girls will, but then again, almost every girl won’t.
With this approach, you are asking a “yes or no” question, which is a bit off-putting.
Another approach is asking if you can ask.
“Is it okay to ask for your phone number”
This is even worse than plainly asking for her number.
If she teases you, she can reply “It is okay to ask, but I will not let you have it” thereby, calling you out on the double question.
This question is common when you do not want to be direct and avoid sounding pushy.
You want to come across as polite and respectful yet you are coming across as afraid and reluctant.
Is there a middle ground with this?
It’s telling her to give you her phone number.
And the guy in the photo above is doing just that, but this is an exaggeration.
There are different, suggestive ways in which you can phrase the “instruction” and do the “telling”.
How to ask for her number?
Use these direct pick-up lines when you want to get her number via a text message.
Say “let me have your number”, “leave me your number” or even “give me your number” but follow it up with a fun date idea or study session or whatever works for the situation.
There is something in the confidence you exude in this case.
Also, the verb choice puts some control on her power since she is the one to do the action.
Put yourself out there
We said that asking should not be an option for a confident guy like you (will become).
But maybe telling her or instructing her is not compatible with who you are.
Maybe you just do not want to assume that she will gladly share her phone number with you, and do not want to seem pushy and abrasive.
What can you do in that case?
There are actually two options for this.
5. Give her your phone number
Instead of assuming that she will give you her contact information, offer her yours.
Giving her your number can be used to replace “can I have your number girl?” and make her give you hers without hesitation.
Just say something like: “Hey NAME, I really enjoy your company so here’s my phone number, ring me so we can talk and get to that awesome gyros place you told me about.”
This will work if you are already chatting.
If you are already with her in person, ask her for her phone so you can type in her phone number.
Or go old school and write your name and number on a napkin.
This will put the ball in her court.
She will be in charge, which will increase her comfort as she will have control over the situation.
If she will call or not would be completely her choice.
You let her choose, and this will make her trust you a bit more right away.
As a plus, you will seem way more confident in a polite and suave manner, as if you do this every day and as if it is not a big deal if she rejects you.
By this, you show you ‘re not afraid of rejection by beautiful women.
Food for thought: Girls like confidence in a man!
Let’s go on with some more tips on how to get her number.
6. Go for “us”
Regardless of the place where the conversation is taking place – Tinder or in real life, you can make this suggestion to that attractive girl.
“Let’s exchange numbers so I can give you a phone call next week.”
What this will do is create a sense of togetherness.
Girls love that.
You grew into “us” before she could blink and this put “her” out of the spotlight.
Girls get a bit insecure, especially if they like somebody.
The perpetual “Will he call?” “Did I go too fast?” “Will he get the wrong idea?”
With “Let’s exchange numbers” you eliminate this, and she feels like you are on the same page.
7. Be ready for what comes next
Be ready to give her your phone to type in her number.
Hand it to her smoothly and continue talking to her while she’s typing to avoid the awkward silence.
If she sees it as just like another thing you’re doing together, and not emphasizing the fact that she gave you her phone number, there will be no awkwardness.
Handing her the phone will be handy especially if you are not sure about her name.
And it is very important not to mess up her name when you eventually text or call her for the first time.
Saying “Hey beautiful” instead of “Hey Marta” hoping that her name will eventually come up in the conversation, will put her off.
She will think that you have either forgotten her name or you are flattering her.
Both are a no-no.
Here is a bonus tip.
To make sure that she is not giving you a fake number, take the phone from her and read it to her out loud.
Change one digit, and if she corrects you, chances are she gave you her real phone number.
If she doesn’t, then she was not interested in the first place.
8. Do not force it
Sometimes things do not go the way you want them to go no matter how hard you try and how well you play your cards.
Will you continue to push her to give you her phone number?
Or will you gracefully accept that you have been rejected?
You will gracefully accept the rejection.
Well, because if she was reluctant to give you her number in the first place, even if you manage to badger her into sharing it with you, how do you expect the conversation to continue?
It all goes back to her feeling comfortable around you.
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The last thing you want to do is make her feel pressured because she will be tense and on the lookout for another red flag.
You will call- she will not answer.
You will text – she will send one-word replies until she stops answering altogether.
How to get her number then?
No, we don’t suggest you conduct any detective work or any stalking.
What you need to do is simply back off.
Tell her “Ok, that’s cool. I hope we will get a chance to talk/chat again soon”.
Girls like a guy with self-respect who will not let a simple rejection bruise his ego.
Acting pushy or even hurt will just eradicate any chance of you taking the conversation and what you have to the next level.
This works well if you are chatting since in time she can warm up to you and eventually share her number with you.
Just follow some of the advice a few days later and you will get it without a problem.
It is a bit more difficult if you met her IRL.
Having mutual friends helps as there is a chance you can see her.
Otherwise, you can just hope to bump into her again in the club, bar, or wherever you met her.
9. The number isn’t the ultimate goal
After what we’ve said about how to ask a random girl for her number, remember this: her number is not your ultimate goal.
The number is just a means so that you can get to know her better, spend more time with her, and whatever happens next.
IF she senses that the number is what you’re after, she will probably not give it to you in order not to feel like a trophy.
This is why you never leave right after you get it, and why you do not let the conversation die out.
Mistakes to avoid after you’ve got her number
I got her number, now what?
Once you learn the best way to ask a girl for her number and start getting a bunch of them, you need to know about possible traps you can fall into.
Here are some of them.
Do not celebrate the fact that she gave you her phone number.
Do not get me wrong- you can be happy, excited, or proud of yourself, just do not let her see it.
Never, ever pull a Chandler.
You may think you are coming off as funny and interesting, but this can actually spoil her image of you as the confident, nonchalant guy she gave her phone number to.
This could work only if she is a die-hard fan of the Friends show, and she knows you know she is (pun intended).
You are becoming the needy creep.
Remember, it is not the number you want it is the possibility to talk to her and eventually meet in person (again).
On a related matter, do not thank her for the number.
You think you seem polite and worthy of attention.
When, in fact, she subconsciously feels like she has done you a favor and that you are not worth her time.
Leaving right after
Unless you’ve been in a long conversation and you notice she has enjoyed herself, leaving right after will be a huge mistake.
This is because she will then feel like the phone number is the only thing you wanted from her.
And, that the time you spent talking to her was actually just the means to an end.
If you really have to go, quickly explain why and ask for her number using some of the techniques I talked about.
In addition to that, just add “I would really like to continue telling you about…”
Or even better, show interest in what she has to say “I would really like to hear about your…”
The best way is to work up a way to weave the phone number issue into the conversation and continue talking normally like it’s not a big deal.
Otherwise, waiting until the end of the conversation could be unproductive.
Too fast or too slow
Ok, you got her number, but when do you call or text a girl?
Problems are awaiting if you wait too much and if you do not wait for enough.
It is a balancing game – good luck with that.
Unless, of course, you can manage to send her something super charming super fast – while she’s still in front of you holding her phone.
Something as simple as a smiley face will do here.
Things like “Hi gorgeous” will not.
Several theories are surrounding this topic of when to text a girl after getting her number.
The general rule of thumb is to wait no longer than 48 hours to contact her.
Preferably, you should reach out within the first 24 hours.
And wait at least several hours before your first text to a girl after you get her number.
If you met her in a bar though, wait till the next morning at least.
If you call her later that night she will assume that you are drunk or want to hook up or both.
If you wait too long, she will get a sense that you are not as interested as you seemed.
Her personal excitement about you will fade as well.
Plus, you are giving her time to meet somebody who is not as reluctant as you.
If you get too excited and sent her texts and gifs and memes all day long, she will soon get bored of you.
What happens next?
Well, best-case scenario, she will let you know you should back off a bit, give her time to breathe.
Worst case scenario?
She will block you and avoid you for the rest of her life regardless of how and where you met.
Again, would you like to receive that many texts or have 16 missed calls every day?
So do not do that.
Just a reminder, girls like a bit of a hot and cold game.
Those who are always, always, always there quickly become replaced.
Check out some of our other texts or hire a dating coach to help you navigate through talking with girls after you have managed to take it offline and to her phone.
That’s where a lot of mistakes happen- when things get real.
The methodology we used for this article on how to ask a girl for her phone number was to study and test numerous tactics to get this done and selected the very best.
Our approach was based on certain factors and criteria such as; mode of communication and duration of the communication before concluding.
As you see, the answer to “How to get a girl’s number?” is not that complicated.
Hopefully, this advice will help you learn how to ask a girl for her number and how to do it like a pro.
Just like football, it takes practice.
But if you follow our advice and have your nerves in check, asking a girl for her number will come as naturally as brushing your teeth.
Although, try to remember that dating is not an exact science and no advice in the world can work every time.
What are your thoughts and experiences, share with us.
Did you ever ask a girl out by asking for her number?
Frequently Asked Questions