Tinder is home to millions of users (including the “married”) hunting for a casual date or one-night-stand.
In this article, we shall navigate this unchartered waters of “Tinder for Married” and answer the following questions:
A great alternative to tinder for sneaking around is Ashley Madison.
Eager to know the answers? Okay… let’s get down with it!
- This article on Tinder is part of my larger Tinder hub (50+ articles)
- Pick up my free Tinder opening line formula to easily 3X your response rate.
- Guys: I suggest Tinder coach if you want to increase your matches
Post 5 of 7 in the Tinder Hookups Series
To Tinder or not to Tinder?
If you are a married person reading this text, then probably curiosity won’t let you sleep until you hear the short and sweet YES!
Perhaps you didn’t know, but of all consumers on Tinder, approximately 42% of them are already in some relationship, and about 30% are in a marriage.
Even though there are sites like eHarmony that are for those seeking serious relationships and BeNaughty or Ashley Madison strictly for hookups, married persons find themselves in all these sites including Tinder that houses all and sundry.
You naturally start thinking “If they can, why shouldn’t I give it a try?”
However, as everything in life is a two-edged sword, this as well is not all black or white.
It depends on the type of person you are, how satisfied are you with your spouse and your marriage, what do you expect from a Tinder, and so on.
As you can see, the questions keep coming, so even though I said YES, let’s dig even deeper and see where does this lead.
Wider Spectrum of Possibilities
First of all, I need to clarify that this app is much more than just something you use to find someone to be intimate with or a place to find the right match for a serious relationship.
One of the reasons it became so popular is the fact that it allows people to look for any sort or acquaintances, which includes friendships as well.
You can freely write what are you looking for on Tinder, and no one will judge you, because it’s a platform that serves to connect people, for whatever reason there is.
So, when you have in mind that this dating platform can also be an excellent medium to help you find your next best friend, then being married and using Tinder doesn’t sound shocking at all, does it?
As I mentioned, it’s your intentions that play a crucial role here, so if you feel like you know what you’re doing, then it can be quite an interesting experience.
Online and Offline Version of You
It’s already common knowledge that the majority of people have divided personalities.
No, I don’t aim at some psychological problems, not at all.
What I mean is that they do not represent themselves in the same way they are on social networks and dating apps comparing to the same person in real life.
It’s the freedom online universe bears with itself and the only thing that matters is- will a person abuse it or use it smartly?
You always have two options: to create a profile that will be fully legit and represent who you actually are, or create a fake one, where you will modify your name, age, upload pics which do not show clearly your face.
It is up to you, of course, but then what would you answer to the following questions- who is that person on Tinder, you or imaginary you?
Who would you like other people to meet- the real you or some “wannabe” you?
Married on Tinder – Should You Actually Be There?
You’ve been in a happy and fulfilling marriage for 10, 15 years, you and your partner finish each other thoughts, you cannot imagine your life without him/her, but still…
Tinder is frequently mentioned and it’s a number one dating app, so you, naturally want to see what all the fuss is about.
There you are, navigating through the platform, you are amazed how user-friendly it is, and out of nowhere, there you are-swiping through other people’s profiles.
The first that comes to your mind is do married people use tinder?
And you start questioning yourself is there anything wrong with you, are you actually already having a Tinder affair, what will your spouse say if he/she discovers.
There aren’t any special agents coming to arrest you on the way already, there are so many married guys on Tinder and so many married women on Tinder- you most certainly aren’t the only one curious to sneak peek what’s the big deal with it.
As I said, the key is in defining your feelings and ask yourself what do you actually expect from the app.
Are you curious to explore Tinder for affairs?
Have you been wondering if there are people on Tinder cheating?
How hot are the girl/guys out there?
Is Tinder for married people to look for some friends and casual chat?
There are so many questions out there, but-how do you feel up to now about all this Tinder thing?
Do you feel guilty for being married but looking app?
So, let’s recap once more-if you have found yourself using the app, but you do it so just to see what is it about, then okay.
If you are looking for some friends to chat with, that’s okay as well.
However, if you are married and hooking up on Tinder, just stop and don’t go any further.
If your thoughts are occupied with finding someone on Tinder for married affairs and cheat on your spouse, this will only end up in divorce.
Sorry for me being so explicit, but that’s the way it goes.
After all, giving someone else a false hope is wrong as well, it’s simply not fair.
You can make up your mind, and then the person on Tinder who just got very interested in you ends up shocked/disappointed for learning that you are actually married.
You see, even though there’s a huge dose of freedom on the Internet, you shouldn’t abuse it, but use it to work on your honesty in real life.
It’s so easy to pretend that you are someone else, but why would you do that.
If that’s what fulfills you, well, then the problem is much deeper, and certainly not to be discussed here.
Being married nowadays is more than challenging, there are so many temptations people are confronted with, and sometimes it can be difficult to resist.
But, that’s precisely why you should stay on the safe ground if you deeply care about your spouse.
You should try strengthening the relationship, not making the gaps even bigger.
Your Partner Has Tinder – Is It the Right Moment to Freak Out?
We’ve discussed your angle, but let’s take a look at your other half.
You can say for yourself that you have Tinder for the purpose of finding someone to talk to, make friends and so on – but what would you do if you find out that your spouse has a profile as well?
Would you freak out or wouldn’t make any fuss about it?
After all, Tinder for married guys is as popular as Tinder for married women, so both partners are on the same ground.
The best would be to analyze your partner in the exact same way you did for yourself.
If you are positive that your partner is satisfied with your marriage, that you are fully committed to your spouse, that you give him/her enough attention, love, devotion, respect and all, then it’s okay.
Think of it like leisure time activity, a mindless entertainment, like when you download a game, or switch channels on TV to see what’s on…
So, if you two are happy and open with each other, then there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.
Should You Start Panicking at Some Point?
However, there’s always that other side of the medal, and I think it would be wise to discuss it as well.
You’ve been with your spouse for a long time, and you’ve known each other’s thoughts, finish each other’s sentences, but all of a sudden you notice something’s going on.
Your spouse seems a bit absent, he/she is changing some habits, there’s no closeness and open communication between you two.
All in all, it’s not like it used to be.
This most certainly doesn’t mean that the main guilty one is the app, but should be taken into consideration as well.
Be it married on Tinder, lack of closeness or any other reason, what you need to do is talk with your spouse.
The more you wait, the worse things may become, so if you have the slightest doubt that your marriage is on the shaky ground at the moment, try to regain the stability ASAP.
The fact that dating apps are so widely available can be a reason to worry if you are not in a committed and happy marriage because the possibility to do something you could regret later exponentially grows.
This can be prevented and you just need to evaluate what means more to you- stabile marriage or adventurous exploring of what it’s like being married on Tinder?
Both Partners on Tinder- a Coincidence or What?
Okay, you know that some wives and hubbies are curious to see how Tinder works, and where can that take them, but what about Tinder for married couples?
Believe it or not, some couples are even interested in exploring Tinder together.
Sometimes one of the partners create a profile, in some cases, both of them do so, but they are constantly aware of all the activities of both sides.
There are many pros and cons with this, but if you ask me, I think couples do so to spice up their marriage, to have fun.
You see, when a man and a woman are together for a longer period of time, they are naturally very attached to each other, the love deepens and so on, but sometimes the chemistry starts to fade away.
Not always, but it happens, particularly in cases when they are occupied with kids, job, and all, they somehow forget what attracted them in the first place.
To revive that old flame, they think of some “mischievous” options within the limits of acceptable.
They create profiles and get amused by the fact that some hot chick or handsome dude out there expressed her/his interest in chatting/having coffee or dinner or sometimes even naughtiness.
Some partners even go a step further and seek plus one to have a threesome, and even that can be found on Tinder.
But, this one can work only and ONLY if both spouses truly want something like that, and are not afraid that it could damage their marriage.
What If…You Actually Get TRULY Interested?
As long as both partners are transparent about why they have Tinder, and they don’t cross the safe limits, it’s okay to have this sort of fun.
But what if one of the sides starts thinking about using Tinder for married affairs?
You see, when someone gives you compliments, makes you laugh, when your conversation is pleasurable, you will naturally start feeling some huger dose of attractiveness for that person.
Step by step, there you are, accepting to go on a date with that person, without letting your partner know, and the next thing you know is ending up in bed overwhelmed by guiltiness.
Before you regret doing something you initially didn’t intend to, cut it immediately.
You can simply disappear from Tinder, erase the profile, no one will ever tell you anything.
Also, you can openly admit to that match you were about to accept a date with that you don’t feel comfortable about doing such thing, apologize and so on.
The fact that Tinder offers so much freedom, so many opportunities to hook up is excellent- if you are single.
But, Tinder for married is not a good place to be if they are in some period of instability and questioning their commitment to a spouse.
How Not to Get Caught Using Tinder If You Are Married?
I’d like to explore this scenario as well, just to make sure you have all the necessary angles to evaluate whether Tinder and married can coexist in the same sentence (and in life)!
You made it clear with yourself that you are on Tinder just to make friends, to see how it works, you are happily married but- you wouldn’t like your partner to find out about that.
Okay, it’s not the best situation to be in, as you could be under constant stress, then what’s the point of all if you won’t be able to relax.
But if you can’t help wondering, let’s see what are the options here.
Steps and Precaution Measures to Take
You are fully aware that you are doing something you assume your spouse wouldn’t be thrilled with, so what you need to do is be extra precautious.
It’s not just hiding your phone or yourself when it beeps, but rather a complex strategy to establish.
Here are two simple ideas:
- Create a fake FB profile and then connect it to Tinder
- Create a fake Tinder profile and equip it with pics where your face won’t be fully visible
And, to make it clear here, when I say fake- I mean both your name and age, your location, make sure the bio doesn’t reveal too much actual info about you, set privacy settings on your phone…
(On the other hand, if it’s necessary to put so many fake info on that profile, would you still call it YOUR profile or it’s someone else’s?)
Also, make sure you keep your phone close to yourself (assuming that you are NOT using the app on your desktop).
Don’t act weird and nervous, or your partner will start suspecting that something’s going on.
You Probably Didn’t Have THESE on You Mind!
If you’ve decided to take a risk and create a profile on Tinder, you’ve prepared well for all the possible scenarios… or perhaps you haven’t?
You know how people say “It’s a small world”?
Well, Tinder is even smaller!
Imagine someone of your partner’s friends or acquaintances discover you are on Tinder and bring it to his/ her attention?
It’s not impossible, particularly if you set a location to the actual one, so there’s a huge possibility that your profile appears to people from the neighborhood, someone you know.
Would it be fun to explain your dear one what the heck were you doing out there?
I’m positive the answer is negative.
Then check this scenario out- you just swipe through the profiles casually, and after so many random people you spot – YOUR HUBBY/ WIFE?
How would you react?
Would it be a pleasant conversation to have?
If you are not so curious about opening that can of worms and have exhausting conversations with your partner about it, then you don’t need Tinder at all.
Besides, that match on Tinder wouldn’t be quite thrilled knowing that you’ve pretended you are someone else, the truth would have to be told at some point.
The deeper you go into this, the more complex it gets, and it’s more than clear that it loses its original purpose.
The ULTIMATE tip!
But, you know what- if you want an honest piece of my advice on how NOT to get caught using Tinder if you are married, it’s simple-don’t have Tinder at all.
No matter how much Tinder for married ppl may sound like an intriguing corner to sneak peek into, having in mind the dose of stress it can cause you, it’s not worth it.
After all, the last thing you want is calming an angry partner and throwing excuses like “Darling, I was just having fun, why are you so mad?”
There are so many other ways to have fun without hurting the other half.
How to Find out if Your Spouse is Using Tinder?
Let’s see how it works if YOU are the one suspecting that your partner is the one checking out Tinder for married people.
Now that you know all it takes to “mask” your presence on Tinder, you can use the same tricks to explore if your partners doing something behind your back.
Here are some tactics to employ:
- Observe your partner’s behavior to see if he/she acts differently recently
- If you share some devices, you can check out the history and see if there are any suspicious activities
Also, there are special apps you can install and try to check whether your partner is using this or any other Tinder equivalent for married people.
You can also hire an investigator specialized in this cyber field and let him/her do the job for you.
Check this out- YOU can also open a profile on Tinder only for the purpose of finding out whether your spouse uses it.
Then again, an honest conversation serves to save the day, so better address the problem directly, face the issue, and two of you will find some logical way out of that current mess.
The fact that you are aware your partner has some “secret world” without you in it is a signal that you two need a long and honest talk to see what’s going on.
Perhaps it’s just a period, perhaps something deeper is going on (and you somehow failed to see that on time), so be patient do your best to save the situation- and marriage.
As you have seen, this can be a tricky road to take, but not necessarily if you know how to use Tinder if you’re married.
What is left for me to conclude here is that if married people on Tinder are looking for something more and deeper than friendship, then it’s wrong and they should seriously analyze their life and relationship with the spouse.
However, if the purpose of having a profile is to boost self-esteem, amuse yourself in moments of boredom, have casual chat with someone who likes the same movies/ books/ destinations like you do, then go ahead.
On the other hand, Tinder is an app primarily for those who haven’t found a partner yet, so let them use it to get one.
Yours is to enjoy hugging and kissing the one you already have, without blowing it up with having Tinder.