Tinder is well known for being a great app for quick flings, hookups, or sex dates.
But is getting a Tinder sex date as easy as it sounds?
In this article, I will guide you through:
At the end of this article, you will know the best approach to take when seeking hookups via Tinder.
Let’s dive right in!Is tinder giving you the best chance of success with online dating? Take our dating app quiz to find out. People who follow our app recommendations have an average of 2 more dates/casual meetups per month.
- This article on Tinder is part of my larger Tinder hub (50+ articles)
- Pick up my free Tinder opening line formula to easily 3X your response rate.
- Guys: I suggest Tinder coach if you want to increase your matches
Post 3 of 7 in the Tinder Hookups Series
What is Tinder?
Generally speaking, Tinder is a dating app where people from all over the world can find their match
Tinder stands out among the competition due to its simplicity, user-friendly design, and a powerhouse of a matching algorithm.
Also, Tinder is known for accommodating a wide range of users (from quick flings to soul mates), while apps like eHarmony are more for those wanting serious relationships and BeNaughty prides herself in the hookup game.
According to a 2017 study, around 80% of the people using Tinder are millennials, and its popularity has been steadily growing in pretty much all age groups, but it’s especially popular among the younger population.
According to a recent survey, almost 80% of guys and gals on Tinder are between 18-24 years of age.
It’s versatile, easy to master, and very effective!
Is Tinder for sex or for dating?
If you’re looking for something steady, you’ll find it!
If you’re looking for a Tinder hookup or threesome, you’ll find that too!
It all depends on your approach and your own luck!
How Does Tinder Work?
I did mention the luck part, right?
Well, your chances of having Tinder sex dates do not depend on luck alone, but also on your overall approach and needs, and the number of matches.
Let me elaborate.
Tinder requires you to create an account, enter your basic data, interests, pics, and bio (more on that later), but what really counts here is your location.
Your location needs to be active as long as you’re using Tinder, because you’ll immediately be presented with the profiles of the ladies closest to you geographically.
You can, of course, adjust the span of Tinder’s searching algorithm however you see fit.
So, Tinder will find you a number of ladies around you, and then you’ll need to choose one or more for potential contact.
How do you do that?
Swiping is how you show whether or not you’re interested in a particular lady’s profile or not.
If you swipe left (press her main picture and pull it to the left) you’ll show you’re not interested. If you swipe right, you’ll show her you’re interested in her.
It is simple indeed, but also very safe for the girls online.
It’s a sad truth that there are men who have not that great intentions when it comes to dating or speaking with women in general. Molesters come in all shapes and sizes.
That’s why you can only talk to a girl if she also swiped you right.
You know you were swiped right if you swipe a girl and you get a message from the app saying that you’re a match!
If that happens, you can proceed with messaging and see what happens, and if not, just keep on swiping!
Tinder is a huge game of numbers, and if you’re persistent enough and give the app a shot, you’ll find some very hot and steamy sex on Tinder!
How Guys Looking for Hookups on Tinder Often Fail
There are lots of men looking for their dream sex Tinder date, but most of them simply never really get the mark.
There are many reasons for that.
Some of them simply have way too many red flags (any of you guy out there treating women as just another notch on your bedposts, you should be ashamed!), while others are just out of luck.
I’ve had the chance to chat with many of guys from the latter group, and I reached the conclusion that they all made pretty much the same mistake:
- Their conversations were too long and serious;
- They had very, very few Tinder matches;
- They may get lucky enough to go on a date, but not lucky enough to seal the deal.
I took a look at their profiles and I immediately saw the reason why: their profiles were made to attract more serious ladies, not casual flings they were aiming at.
They sent totally wrong messages, and gave out a totally wrong vibe, missing their mark by a light year.
In the following part of the text I’ll tell you about how to properly create/modify your profile so you can get a great number of matches and thus increase your chances for finding Tinder sex dates!
Attracting Hookup Matches
When it comes to dating and life in general, there is an unavoidable truth we must acknowledge:
Men have always had issues with understanding women.
Granted, this may be true for any person no matter their gender, but traditionally speaking, men don’t completely understand women.
We have, however, managed to figure some parts of their spotless minds, and those parts are also connected to their opinion of sex.
So let me solve the puzzle of all puzzles: women do enjoy sex just as much as we men do! If you ever had any doubts about that, feel free to stop questioning it.
Statistically speaking, men are those who opt for casual sex rather than women. SimpleTexing conducted a research where 9.2% of males said they had sex on Tinder or a Tinder sex date at least once, while 8,5% of women said the same.
This isn’t much of a surprise considering how men use this app the most. In a 2018 research, Tinder was used by 10% more men than women.
Still, even if they’re less likely to look for a fling, this most certainly does not mean they never do that! They absolutely do, but unlike us men, they have a bit higher standards.
The one thing that matters here is this: if you’re not pretending to be something you’re not, chances are she’ll want a bit more than just a coffee!
These are the situations when you really need to be yourselves.
You’re a ladies man? Great! Be a ladies man, let her know you’re a charming womanizer looking for fun and make that clear!
She wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with you, but she will definitely want to share a passionate night with you. And that is what you’re here for, right?
Be as friendly and as kind as you want, but make your intentions clear. Women hate fake people, and don’t you forget it!
How to Use Tinder for Sex
Let us assume you’re on Tinder simply to have a good time.
You want to use Tinder just for sex and you’re ready and willing to explore the restless waters of online dating.
But that’s not as easy as people often expect.
You see, online dating has its own rules and rhythm to it, and you’ll need to heed those rules if you want to get those Tinder sex dates.
In that regard let me show some more words of wisdom.
Women love bad boys.
Women love good guys.
Kind of contradictory, right? Well, not exactly.
You see, women will definitely be attracted to bad boys and their wily charms, but they would not want anything serious with them.
And yet, what is it about bad boys that attracts women so much?
Confidence is the magic ingredient of attraction in general, and bad boys usually have it in spades.
But there’s another trait women value just as much as confidence, and that trait is reliability.
The classical stereotype of a bad guy can be described as a supremely confident and supremely unreliable man.
That’s the reason why women gladly have a casual fling with them, but never anything more serious than that.
The good guy stereotype is his polar opposite: absolutely reliable yet totally insecure.
Reliability might be attractive, but the insecurity can totally ruin the mood, so women often opt for something more serious and thus, more satisfying in the long run.
But these are only stereotypes, just as I sad; reality works a tad differently. There are very kind-hearted bad boys as much as there are some very, very weird and cruel good guys!
Thus, when looking for a hot Tinder date, you need to balance these two traits; you need to be both confident and reliable – a bad boy with a good guy’s soul.
Show how confident you are but don’t be pushy or too self-centered.
Confident men are sexy because they know they can take charge and are not afraid to so when the situation demands it.
If a woman sees she you can take care of any situation, she’ll be sure you can take care of her just the way she needs you to.
But confidence and aggression can only take you so far.
Be aggressive, but temper your aggression with reliability.
Balancing those two traits is the key to a successful Tinder hookup!
You already know the basic mechanic when it comes to the app itself, which means we’re ready to play the game!
1. Constructing the Tinder Profile
When it comes to using Tinder for just sex (and using Tinder in general, that is), you need to create an account first.
There are two ways to do so.
The most effective way, usually, is to use your Facebook account to log in to Tinder.
This is the way most people log in into Tinder because it makes it easy for them to use pics from their Facebook account, give some more data about themselves to attract more serious potential matches, etc.
And to prove it, there’s a research stating that Tinder was the app people most commonly logged in via Facebook, thus beating Candy Crush and Spotify!
The other way is to simply download the app, log in by using your cell phone and simply connect your Instagram or Facebook account later on.
2. Choose Proper Pictures
The next step in creating your profile is picking the right pics.
This part is a bit tricky, and a majority of guys make mistakes, thus sending the wrong message and gaining very few matches.
You need to choose pics that show how attractive and interesting you are, but they have to be natural, and not on-the-nose.
Also, they need to show you’re here to find a Tinder hookup, not a serious relationship.
Your profile pic should be of you alone, preferably not looking at the camera. Selfies can go if they’re cool enough but try not to use them as much.
Have a pic of you in a suit, at a formal gathering, or while talking to a large group of people.
Women LOVE men in suits, and this pic is bound to get you a great number of matches.
Another pic excellent pic is the pet pic.
Pet pics are a gold mine when it comes to attracting potential matches.
Whether they’re looking for something serious or for a sexy Tinder hookup, women can’t help but positively adore a handsome man holding a cute little puppy or kitten! Bonus points for both!
Having a pic where you’re enjoying an outdoor activity is also an amazing way to attract just the kind of audience you’re looking for.
These pics show your sense of adventure, and that you’re not afraid to take a few risks (in case you’re into extreme sports).
Women love men who’re confident enough to indulge themselves in these activities, and that Bad Boy attitude and charm is exactly what you should go for when it comes to Tinder sex.
Also, outdoor/adventure pics are a great way for you to show off in a tasteful way.
Women love men with well-defined and toned bodies, but what they don’t like is when you unapologetically try to put your body at the fore.
If you post a bunch of selfies from the gym where you just show off your abs, most women who find your profile will not want to swipe you right.
They’ll think you’re too big of a narcissist to be a worthy date.
But, if you post pics where your muscular arms are seen in all their glory (like, for example, during mountain climbing), you’ll be swiped right by more ladies you’ll know what to do with.
Oh come on, of course you’ll know!
Photos of you enjoying a holiday with friends and family (ideally Christmas and/or Easter) are also pics you want to go have.
They serve to show you have a social life and friends, and that you’re not some creepy recluse posing as a datable-looking guy.
Adding a pic with looking and/or doing something funny is also a great move because everybody loves a guy who can make them laugh!
How many times have you overheard women in a bar or a park talking to their friends and always mentioning how funny the guy they went on a date was?
I kid you not, humor can get you a long way!
Also, have some extra quick pointers:
- Suit pics are awesome, but do include a pic or two of you in a leather jacket, to up the manliness factor;
- Dark clothes for “tall, dark and mysterious vibe”;
- Show off your tattoos (but in a cool way; remember the adventuring photos!).
What to Avoid When Choosing Pictures
- Grainy pictures – when choosing pictures, make sure they’re clear and of good quality and lighting. Grainy, dark pics are always a bad choice unless something super cool happens on them, but even then they’re passable at best;
- Don’t choose a selfie as your first pic! – I’ve already mentioned selfies are a bad choice, especially as a first pic. They can often send the wrong message and have you look like a try-hard and not a chill guy you are. Have your pics be as spontaneous as possible!
- Obscuring your face – That’s a BIG NO! You want your face to be clearly seen. You may look like a total badass on your bike, but women aren’t looking at your profile to see your bike, but you. No helmets, masks, or large dark glasses – don’t hide your face!
- Overdoing with group photos – having a group photo is ok, but only if it’s only one and if there are not too many people there. Make sure you’re the main focus of the photo, so she doesn’t get distracted by all the background noise!
Now that the picture part is more or less done, let’s see what else we can do to increase your chance for Tinder sex!
3. Tinder Profile Biography
Ok, the photo album part is pretty much done.
Now let’s see how you can use your profile bio to tastefully show that you’re looking for sex on Tinder.
Tinder bio is, well, a place where you can write some details about yourself.
It has limited space, so you’ll need to quality over quantity, and not write too much.
A properly written Tinder bio can add a huge number of points on your any girl’s Hotness Scale, so here’s what you need to do to make a perfect Tinder bio:
- Short and to the point – When on Tinder, ladies are pretty much too busy looking for a guy who will come out as interesting and intriguing from his pics alone. They don’t really have the time nor the patience to write your epic novel of a bio, which goes double for the cutest girls out there.
Keep it short, keep it simple – quality over quantity, remember?
- Be unique – There are roughly two or three times more men than women on Tinder, which means your competition is fierce. Avoid generic and cliché lines and go for something more original. Capture her attention! Make her want to know you!
- Make her feel – This part is super important. Capturing her attention is great, but making her experience genuine emotion is amazing! If you can make her feel not just curious about you but also about your skills in bed, you’re basically set!
Try to fit all you want to write in your bio in about three to four sentences tops.
Write your biography to be more or less in tone with your photo album, and in your original style of writing/speaking.
This should attract your match’s attention fairly easily.
The emotional part I mentioned is a tad trickier.
When going for the emotions, you need to tailor your bio so it intrigues her and arouses her interest.
That means your biography needs to be as interesting as possible, but also charming, playful, and of course – seductive.
You are here to seduce, of course!
There isn’t any fixed way to do that.
Experiment with different styles of bios, and see what happens.
Not all women are attracted by the same things, and not all of them will find your bio interesting, but the free-spirited girls you’re aiming at definitely will!
I strongly advise against you being way too direct!
Not only does this go against my advice, it will also show that you’re too needy and hard to deal with, and women do their best to avoid this kind of guy.
Let’s give you an example of a bio perfect for a guy looking for sex with Tinder date.
“I once saw a toaster one the side of the road with a note attached, and that not perfectly described me: TAKE ME.
I’M KINDA BROKEN, BUT YOU CAN FIX ME.”
Take a look: it’s ironic and kind of self-roasting, provides an allusion on the romantic movie cliché of women “fixing” the bad boy protagonist/love interest, and it’s overall amusing, playful and sexual.
And all this in just three sentences!
Here’s another cool one:
“If a serial killer threatened to kill me unless I do a spot-on parallel parking, I’ll be fine. But if he threatened to torture me unless I name at least 5 songs that came out after I finished high school, I’ll be in for some baaad time.”
Again, ironic, with a touch of self-deprecating humor.
Use these two and adapt them however you see fit or create your own in a similar way.
Just don’t forget to follow the instructions!
4. Choose a Proper Opener
Your pics and bio did what they were intended for and now you’re matched with a beautiful girl!
She seems really interesting judging by her pictures, and you’re pretty sure you have good chances for a hookup.
But before you lost yourself in your fantasies and let this opportunity slip from your fingers, you must remember that now is the time to engage!
How do you that?
This is the part where you need to display your creativity, make your intentions clear, and further attract her attention.
And yes, you’re expected to be the one to send the first message.
Women often do that too, but remember that confidence spiel from earlier in the text? This is how you show it.
You have to put some effort into it.
Your match has to feel you’re engaged in the conversation and know how to talk the talk properly.
Being lazy will get you nowhere, and fast.
Puns, gifs, irony, and sarcasm – these should be your weapons of choice.
Also, for the love of God, do not use stock openers and other clichés unless in a fairly ironic manner.
As I already stated, there are much more men than women on Tinder and chances are she’s seen them all.
Make your openers be relevant to her.
Read her bio, watch her pics carefully, and use all that to make the most effective openers!
Not only will she have a few laughs, but she’ll see you actually took a minute to read more about her.
You got invested, so she will be too.
That’s how you show the reliability part, right here.
5. Mind the Conversation Topics
You broke the ice!
Now that the contact has been established, you need to keep the conversation going for a bit.
Keep it sexy, subtly passionate, but not explicit or demanding.
You want her to think you may be an amazing lover, not a random pervert.
And the more you pique her curiosity and inspire her imagination, the more open to the idea of Tinder hookup she’ll be.
At all costs avoid talking about school, job, deep talks about your trials and tribulations or simple casual chit chat.
Your goal is to seduce her and give her the night (or more nights) of her life, not bore her to death.
5. The Art of Seduction
Seduction is both an art and a skill to be mastered, and it takes time, effort, and experience.
There is not a fixed, one-hundred-percent efficient way of seduction, but there is one advice I can share with you: be playful when it comes to your dates’ emotions, but DO NOT HURT THEIR FEELINGS!
To be good at seduction (and when I say seduction, I mean it in a consensual way!) you need experience.
Improvise, adapt, overcome!
For example, you’re chatting with a cute girl and she asks you this pretty generic question:
“What did you do today?”
Now, you can answer with: “Went to a pizza with a friend”, but that answer is so, so boring. She won’t be emotionally engaged, barely even interested.
Instead, pull on her heartstrings! Make her feel!
“Oh, I barely survived a lunch date with a friend. We decided to live dangerously and ordered a superhot chili at our favorite Mexican restaurant.
Two agonizing hours of fire-breathing and regretting our life choices later, we went back for another go.
It was amazing!”
This story is downright ridiculous but evokes some interesting imagery, it’s rich with irony and self-deprecating humor, and it’s bound to elicit at least a snort!
Boom! She’s emotionally engaged!
Don’t be afraid to exaggerate every once in a while!
She’ll know you’re embellishing the truth, but if you do it right, she’ll love the story!
In case the conversation looks like it’s about to run into a wall, do not fear – this is easy to fix!
Roleplay is a great way of sparking up the conversation, and there are so many ways it can go smoothly, or hilariously (in the best possible way).
Take a look at this example:
“I have an idea! Let’s do a jewel heist! I’ll take my burglar kit, you take your hottest dress. You distract the owner, while I break in and steal his biggest diamond. Be prepared to switch places in case the jewel owner prefers men because I’m packing my suit too!”
This is funny, makes her emotionally engaged, and has a subtly sexual note she definitely will not miss!
This is what you want, after all!
6. Make Your Intentions Clear!
As I mentioned earlier, sending the right message and being honest is the key to having the awesome Tinder sex date you’ve been dreaming about.
Make sure you’re on the same page!
Don’t be explicit but do let her know you’re planning for both of you to have a good time, both during a potential Tinder sex chat and especially in real life.
Exude sexual energy, but forcefully or overtly.
Make her try to guess whether or not you’ll ask her for a sex date. Smooth and suave, my friends, smooth and suave!
You want to know how to maintain the suspense until the right moment?
Here’s a simple game for your chat with your match.
You’ve used it in a number of situations already, so you should be familiar with the mechanics of it.
It’s called “Would you rather”.
“Would you rather” is a very versatile game. In case you never played it, a person asks a question with a dilemma, and the people around it answer accordingly, weighing their choices carefully.
Use this game to spice things up with sexy and sensual questions!
Here are some examples:
- Would you rather handcuff your crush to bed, or have your crush handcuff you?
- Would you rather give up masturbation for a year, or give up sex for a year?
- Would you rather have a meh sex every day or awesome sex once a month?
- Would you rather roleplay a bad nurse or a sexy librarian?
- What would you rather choose: to do foreplay only with your lips for a whole year, or do foreplay only with your hands for a year?
- Would you rather have sex on rose petals and among candles or a quickie in a closet?
You don’t necessarily need to use these exact questions.
You can always make up your own on the fly.
It’s a simple yet effective game that will definitely have craving your attention!
7. Tinder Sex Date: What to Do and What Not to Do
Your photo album is perfect, your texting game on point, and if you followed our advice correctly, you’ve got yourself a sex date.
Tinder and sex go rather well together, as you will see!
But how should your Tinder sex date go, you ask?
Here’s the deal.
Generally speaking, when considering a place for a date, your habitual first thought is either dinner for two or a romantic movie.
These are all fine and cool options, but only if you’re looking for a romantic date.
This is not the case here.
In case of dinner, your date will at best be confused and pressured the worst.
Confused because you’ve been signaling her that you’re looking for a fling, yet here you are, going out of your way in order to organize a romantic date.
Then comes the pressure.
She’d ask herself about what you really want, how she should act given the situation, and she’ll likely opt to go home right after dinner.
What is, then, the proper, neutral place for a proper Tinder hookup?
The one place you always leave for last – your own bedroom!
Getting her to your room is tricky, but here’s a strategy.
Invite her to meet you at your local store, buy some food ingredients and drinks together, cook, make those awesome cocktails, and then proceed to conduct a joint inspection of your bed!
This is how you properly do a Tinder sex date, but here’s some heads-up, just in case:
- Romance is awesome, but don’t push it; you want her to feel special, but not fall in love with you!
- Make sure you ask properly about her levels of intimacy. Casual sex may be ok, but some girls will not allow holding hands because they’d see it as “the boyfriend treatment”;
- Treat your date kindly and respectfully! Use protection, be a gentleman, and send a nice text the next day!
And this is it! Now that you know how to ask for sex on Tinder like a proper gentleman and have insight into Tinder the ins and outs of using Tinder for sex, here are some final thoughts before you set sail into the uncharted waters of Tinder!
Words are your main tool on Tinder, and choosing the right words will make you practically irresistible.
To reinforce your “strong and confident man” image, don’t excessively use emojis.
Girls will think you’re not as serious or reliable as they’d like you to be, which means no hookups for you!
Another way to do this would be to not use any words and expressions which denote insecurity and uncertainty.
No maybes, no perhaps’s – be absolutely certain in what you’re saying!
What seems better to you:
Would you like to, idk, maybe go out for a few drinks with me? If that’s ok with you.
Let’s go grab a drink! What do you prefer, beer or cocktails?
The first sentence exudes insecurity.
Seeing that, no lady will accept your invitation unless she’s really, really attracted to you.
The second sentence, however, not only shows you’re sure she’s into you, you’re already starting the initial preparations for the date and offering her some interesting choices.
There is nothing here to show you have doubts about yourself.
There are no emojis, and absolutely not a single sign of you being afraid of her saying no!
That’s the initiative and attitude you need: aggressive yet respectful!
Speaking of respect, I have to address another important issue.
The best – the most important, that is – is always left for last, right?
These little tricks and words of wisdom will drastically improve your chances for a Tinder hookup, but that does not mean you have permission to abuse this!
As stated earlier in the text, you have absolutely no right to play with your date’s feelings.
Don’t trick her into developing feelings for you if you don’t want a relationship.
Also, treat your dates as people, not as a set of orifices for you to play with!
They’re in it for the same reason you are: to have some fun and enjoy some new experiences, not to be blatantly objectified and reduced to just another trophy for you to brag about to your mates.
Don’t play the good guy, and don’t be the predator!
Women have, sadly, gained quite a lot of experience in dealing with these guys, and you don’t want to be remembered as a sex-starved A-hole!
Take all these pieces of advice to heart, my friends, and good luck in your future conquests!
Enjoy yourselves, and make sure your flings enjoy your company too!